Advice from Women In Their 30's to Women In Their 20's

For all the fun and excitement that it holds, life in your twenties can also be exhausting, confusing, and pretty terrifying.
Careers, relationships, money, what you really want out of life: it's all yet to be figured out, and that can feel overwhelming at times.
So we asked thirty 30-something women to tell us one thing they wish they’d known at the age of 20.
This is what they said…

“No situation is ever improved by drinking vodka and Red Bull.” Ruth, 38

“A small number of great friends is what you need; not a vast number of mediocre ones.” Caroline, 33

“I wish I’d known to stretch my quads properly after running – I didn’t and now one of my legs is a mess.” Erin, 39

“The people that really matter you never lose touch with, and those that you do lose touch with never mattered in the first place. I spent a lot of time crying about friends moving on – and those ones mostly turned out to be knobs anyway.” Anna, 37

“Be as promiscuous as you want to be. There is nothing wrong with women being liberated enough to do what gives them pleasure when it’s not harming others.” Caroline, 38

“I wish I’d known to ask questions when I didn’t understand something, rather than pretending to and being scared of looking stupid. Asking questions makes you look confident and engaged, and people appreciate that honesty.” Alex, 36

“Don’t be so critical of your body, nor worry about what men think of it; I now know men basically love women no matter what shape they are.” Helen, 38

“There is NOTHING wrong with my vagina, and I don’t take ages to have an orgasm. THEY were doing it wrong.” Julia, 37

“I wish I’d worn more sunscreen on my face.” Rachel, 37

“You don’t have to stay in that nightclub until the lights go up if you’re having a crap time.” Gayle, 39

“You have as much right to exist, join in, and contribute to society or just a conversation, as the next person.” Helen, 39
“No matter how epic the heartbreak, you will love again.” Sarah, 37

“I wish I’d known I did not need to stress so much at work – in fact they needed me, and I should have asked for more money.” Kirsten, 36

“Velvet trousers are not a good look.” Becky, 39

“If I'd known that working in a bar in my early 20s would have been some of the best years of my life, I wouldn't have pulled such a moody pint.” Kathryn, 39

“Speak up for yourself more at work.” Emma, 38

“Take that job abroad before the kids come along and complicate it.” Polly, 38

“At 20, I spent way too much time worrying that I was never going to meet ‘Mr Right’ and I’d get upset thinking I was ‘on the shelf’ - completely ridiculous. (And then I met my now-husband when I was 23.)” Rachael, 37

“No one is worth changing yourself for.” Linda, 38

“Yoga, yoga, yoga. It is a complete life transformer - in terms of clarity and calm, making good decisions and (crucially) being able to co-exist with discomfort.” Sophie, 39

“Spend less on alcohol and more on travel.” Abi, 39

“I think I should have placed as much value on a vocational qualification as I did an academic one. I would probably have been better off financially.” Steph, 39

“Think about how you’re going to balance having children with your career dreams. Don't believe the hype of your ovaries, who may try to convince you that breeding is an absolute priority.” Skye, 38

“If you keep biting your nails they will be soft and crap by the time you’re in your 30s.” Tessa, 39

“I wish I had listened to my mum about saving money. If I’d saved consistently in my 20s like I have since turning 30 that would be pretty nice right now.” Kate, 35

“Appreciate sleep! Having had two kids in my 30s I could slap my former self at being ‘tired’ - I mean, honestly, I had no idea.” Kathryn, 35

“Be prepared for The Wedding Year – everyone has one, when suddenly it feels like ALL your friends are getting married. There will be wonderful hen parties and weddings, all of which will require trains, hotels, gifts, and a multitude of outfits and accessories. Start saving now, or it will bankrupt you.” Jemma, 31

“Experiment with fashion and hair more. Even if it looks terrible, no one will remember it in a year.” Marsha, 39

“Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone has to. This is okay. It is not an indicator that there is something wrong with you.” Nicola, 38

“If you regret it the next day, it probably isn’t for you.” Lucy, 34

Credit: stylist.co.uk

How to Answer the Big Interview Question: "Where Do You See Yourself in the Next 5 Years?"

Most interviewers ask this question to be able to cut off interviewees whom they deem unqualified. It is the most asked interview question that many have not mastered how to answer and hence, fail to take up roles in the job market. Here are some bad and food responses that will help you make the slot for that dream job position you have been yearning for. Note that responses must be in line with specific roles that a person may be vying for.

SOME BAD RESPONSES

1.  “Well, that’s a very hard question. I don’t know what I’ll be doing in 5 years….hmmmm….that’s tough.”

Don’t overthink it. This is the mistake most people make. It’s great that you take the question seriously, but you are not being evaluated based on accuracy of answer. Use your answer to reassure the interviewer that you’re invested in this career path.

2.  “I plan to be a VP at a major firm with at least 7 direct reports, a company car, and a salary of 150K (plus options of course).”

Don't be too specific. Ambition is good. Goals are good. However, if you are too specific, you run the risk of stating goals that are not realistically achievable in the job available. From the interviewer’s perspective, that means you’re not a good fit.

3. “I’d love to be CEO in five years. Then again, I’d also love to be touring with my band if that takes off.”

Don't be flaky. You can come across as flaky if you seem to have a million different ideas about what you want to do — or if you have zero clear ideas about your future. In reality, many good candidates are exploring different options or are still trying to figure it out. However, a job interview is not a session with your career coach. You want to give the impression that you’re focused and have a plan (even if it’s not the only plan you’re considering).

4. “Well, I’m not sure. I’m thinking about law school or business school or clown college.”

Don't raise red flags. Many job seekers have long-term visions of going back to school or starting their own business. These are admirable goals, but there’s no need to share them with your interviewer, especially if you’re still weighing your possibilities.
Of course, if you’ve already committed to full-time grad school or another path that will conflict with your ability to perform in the job, it’s only fair to be open about that.
Also, there are some career paths that require advanced degrees and/or other additional training. For example, many finance and
management consulting career paths require an MBA. In these cases, it will be expected that your five-year plan will include more schooling.

THE RIGHT RESPONSES

1. “My goal right now is to find a position at a company where I can grow and take on new challenges over time. Ultimately, I’d like to assume more management responsibilities and get involved in product strategy. But most importantly, I want to work for an organization where I can build a career.”

This answer offers some insight into the candidate’s goals and interests (becoming a manager, being involved in product strategy) so it’s not too generic. This response also strongly expresses a desire for a long-term career with the company.

2. “I am driven to be the best at what I do and I want to work somewhere where I’ll have opportunities to develop my skills, take on interesting projects, and work with people I can really learn from. Some of the most innovative thinkers in the industry work here and that’s a big reason why I would love to build a career here.”

With this answer, the candidate is emphasizing her focus on learning, performance, and achievement. She is also complimenting the company and its reputation for hiring quality people (including the interviewer, perhaps?). The reference to “building a career here” indicates an interest in sticking around and contributing.

Credit: thebiginterview.com

Justica Anima
Adjeianima@gmail.com
Switstica.blogspot.com

Here's What Your Sleeping Pattern Reveals About You

Sleep is very necessary for the body to regain energy. It also relaxing the nerves reducing the chances of stress and other nervous breakdown symptoms of the body. The more or the less time a person spends to sleep says a lot about their personality.

Here are 12 facts about sleep by @engrossingfacts on Twitter, that every person must know about. These are compiled facts drawn from the twitter handle that offers daily tweets of jaw dropping well researched facts you did not know about. Find out more about some sleeping tips you need to keep in mind, below.

1. Around 2% of the world's population are considered "sleepless elites", which means they are night owls and early birds simultaneously.

2. The happier you are, the less sleep you require to function in everyday life. Sadness increases the urge to sleep more.

3. Sleeping is an effective cure to forget about pain, problems, stress and everything for a while.

4. Sleeping next to someone you love not only reduces depression, but it also helps you to live longer and makes you fall asleep faster.

5. Feeling sleepy? Hold your breath until you can't anymore and then breath out slowly. This will increase your heart rate.

6. People who sleep less tend to eat more the following day.

7. Sleeping for less than 6 hours any night will impact your ability to think deeply the following day.

8. Before going to bed, 93% of people count how many hours of sleep they're about to get.

9. Lack of sleep causes the brain to remember events incorrectly.

10. People who sleep less tend to crave junk food. People who over sleep tend to crave more sleep.

11. "Beauty sleep" is real- Scientists found that faces of well-rested people looked younger and more attractive than sleep-deprived people.

12. People who sleep late have more mental stamina and can outperform early risers.

These tips have well summarized everything you need to know about sleep, it's benefits and disadvantages. Kindly share with us more tips you know about sleep.

Adjeianima@gmail.com

Switstica.blogspot.com

10 Amazing Facts You Didn't Know About Music

Music has many benefits and many music lovers will agree that it sparks a lot of energy and emotions within. Music addicts, musicians, and music producers around the world have certain amazing features in common. Their taste in various genres of music partly or wholely define their personality one way or the other. A person's choice of music can tell a lot about who they are.

Below are some jaw-dropping facts about music that has never crossed your mind. It is a compilation of well researched facts by @engrossingfacts on Twitter. They offer daily tweets on 'Did you Know?' facts you will be awed to know about. Follow them for more tips.

1. 85% of people use music to escape from daily emotional stress.

A lot more people these days, tend to plug in their sound system or earphones just to suck in some music whenever they feel stressed up and depressed.

2. Listening to music at high volumes makes a person calmer, happier and more relaxed.

Dancing and grooving to loud music wherever you find yourself tends to release happiness hormones that helps us feel more relaxed and happier. Tuning in to music at parties, events or even  the home, at higher volumes, indeed does magic to the body.

3. Music with strong beat can stimulate brain waves which improve concentration.

Need I say more? The beat of a music is that powerful.

4. We are subconsciously attracted to people who have the same taste of music as we do.

Truth be told, we tend to like people the more when we realise that they like and listen to the same kinds of music that we love to listen to. Who else can relate?

5. Memorizing song(music) lyrics is found to be one of the best exercises for the brain.

Apart from reading, learning and memorizing song lyrics, and even, singing along, is one of the best exercises that stimulate the brain. This helps to improve the memory and helps one to recollect and memorize things faster.

6. Listening to music while working creates a positive mood and makes you more productive.

Ever tried listening to music while washing or cleaning the house? You will relate easily with this point if you ever tried listening to music while working on strenuous tasks.

7. Music is so influential on the brain that the type you listen to actually has the ability to change the way you think and look at the world.

Just like words are powerful, the lyrics of music teaches us a lot about life, love and culture that we tend to see the world and to perceive things differently.

8. Listening to your favorite song before bed can help you sleep better, wake up easier, and enhance your mood for the upcoming day.

Oh yes! This fact though. Do I have any partners-in-crime when it comes to sleeping to some favorite Playlist?

9. The chills you sometimes feel when listening to music is called "musical frisson"

I mostly get these chills from listening to John Legend, Rihanna, Olly Murs, Asa, and Adele. Walaba you? (what about you?)

10. Music can repair brain damage and return lost memories.

I guess we can try this on the inmates of the Psychiatric hospital. Haha. This last point raises the greatest and key benefit of music. The higher one's consumption, the lower the chances of brain related problems, and vice versa.

I hope these facts taught you a lot about music that you did not know about. Share with me on more facts that you know about music, and which of the above that you do relate to the most. Which are your favorite Playlist and their artiste?

Justica Anima
Adjeianima@gmail.com
Switstica.blogspot.com

Five Steps To Remain Relevant And Employed

By George Lorenzo

We are in a world where machines are taking the place of employees because they are complacent. These steps should guide you and help you avoid loosing your job to a robot.
The information below will help spur you up for greater achievements at the work place. It will keep you relevant and indispensable wherever you find yourself working at.

Individuals who take on these strategies must be willing "to burn the midnight oil to improve their own skills, and either make friends with smart machines or find a way to do things they cannot do. Complacency is not an option. But despondency isn’t required either."

1. Stepping up

People who step up make high-level decisions. They are senior executives who decide where cognitive technologies need to be utilized, and how new systems fit into the business organization overall. They are the few at the top of the augmentation pyramid, the authors write. "They are deciding what smart people do, what smart machines do, and how they work together."

2. Stepping aside

Those who step aside understand how to let machines do the work that machines are best at, such as computational tasks, while "simultaneously choosing to base your own livelihood on forms of value that machines just cannot deliver." Stepping aside means focusing on how to enhance our so-called "multiple intelligences." This is the space where "logical computation cannot provide optimized answers," such as practicing emotional intelligence or even utilizing our ability to solve problems through irrational means.

3. Stepping in

Stepping in means knowing how to make machines productive. These are the people who know how to connect technical and business environments. "Their role involves both identifying situations for which the machine isn’t well suited, and helping it to deliver even greater productivity advances over time," the authors note.

4. Stepping narrowly

Those who step narrowly are the ones who "hyperspecialize." They take the time to follow their passions into work that cannot be automated. They have a clear sense of direction and take the necessary steps to become experts in their field. It means "pushing ever deeper into a subject, with all the force of past achievement helping you, and learning the next thing about it through the kind of focused consideration and experimentation that machines can’t manage," Davenport and Kirby explain.

5. Stepping forward

People who step forward are technically proficient and entrepreneurial individuals who actually build the smart machines. People who step forward may have the brightest future in the age of automation. They are programmers, data scientists, researchers, product managers, marketers, consultants, and more. They are "particularly adept at learning new skills and updating their resumes to reflect their new skills," Davenport and Kirby suggest. "Their reward will be a valuable one: Working in an exciting industry, and drawing a good paycheck from it over many years."

Credit:  fastcompany.com

Wrong Moves People Make In their Relationship With Others

I have had the chance to listen to a few people and taken cue from some of their mistakes in their relationship with people. I have also had my own share on experiences in life which I think would  be worth sharing. Not everyone is supposed to be treated anyhow. You come across good people everyday but you may keep or scare them away by your actions. Here are some wrong moves we make in our everyday relationships with people which need to be checked.

Asking for money

A lot of times,  we genuinely need money from people. However,  the extent of your relationship with someone should determine whether to ask for money from them or not. In other cases, you may ask but asking too often makes you a bore. People now wonder whether you are for real or not. You become a bit of a liability instead of an asset when you begin asking for financial assistance from people you just got acquainted with.

Telling lies

Dishonest people are one group of people that nobody wants to draw close to. Trust, when broken becomes so difficult to replenish. There are lies that we tell to save the situation which are pardonable. However, if you are sure that the lie will bring future problems, it is best to tell the truth as it is. Bottom line, you will be respected for being honest than giving yourself away with a lie.

Feeling Superior

I am mostly attracted to wealthy, smart and intelligent people who are really down to earth. You know that feeling when you figure out that someone is affluent so you expect them to be distant and boastful only for them to be easy to approach. That is what genuine people who understand the art of relationship are like. Instead of making people feel less of themselves, it is humbling to always come down to every persons level irrespective of your position in life. You do not need to make others less of themselves in order to feel good about yourself.

Intolerance

We all have in one way or the other offended and being offended by people. This is something that is bound to happen at every point in life. Often times, not being able to tolerate and understand people leads to disagreements. It is only wise that we are able to tolerate people inasmuch as they hurt us. A lot of people including myself will easily walk away from a relationship that we feel offended and disrespected in. The true art of long lasting relationships is those that have the parties involved tolerate and understand each other's differences.

Selfish ambitions

We are in the world where people are self centered, seeking after their own interests. Few people genuinely have the interest of others at heart. If we can be good friends, spouses, family members, it is best that we have others first in mind. A lot of people who are successful in life first thought about bettering themselves in order to improve the lives of others. It is not bad to concentrate on being a better person. The goal should therefore be to be better so that we can add value to other people's lives.

I believe these will trigger answers which can help us become better people while relating to others. Believe me, everybody needs somebody in life. It is how well you relate with people that pushes you on the map to greatness and fulfillment in life.Which other wrong moves that people make to ruin their relationships can you think of? Do share.

Justica Anima 

Adjeianima@gmail.com

Switstica.blogspot.com

Why Today's Youth Are More Confused

With the increase in technology and Internet usage, one may presume that today's young people will be smarter than their predecessors. It is rather saddening that they are doing less with the more opportunities at their disposal. Young people today are missing key elements of learning and growth because they refuse to tap into knowledge. The average young person today is more likely to be surfing the Internet most of their time and yet achieving less in life. This may be a good thing if they were making good use of the Internet by; learning relevant skills on YouTube, and building sellable apps and brands. However, the reverse is  happening which calls for alarm.

Disregard For Leaders

Most young people don't hold great people in high esteem. Now everyone believes that they are 'superstars' of some sort. Instead of regarding people in higher positions and drawing close to them,we rather tend to withdraw. Young people call leaders names instead of tapping into their expertise. They would be admiring them in their hearts but outwardly you find them lambasting celebrities, parliamentarians, entrepreneurs, professionals and great people in general. I cannot tell whether they do this out of jealousy, yet these are the same people we look up to and wish to be like in future. This is how the confusion starts, bringing us to our next point.

Not Confiding In the Right People

You know what? I recommend John C. Maxwell's 'Good Leaders Ask Great Questions'  to you. It teaches practical questions and ways one can deal with Leaders to become a leader. Another challenge for most young people is asking questions. Now, imagine you do not have any role models who fall in the Leadership category mentioned in the first point, how will you ever ask questions. You will hear a lot of young people discussing the answers they sought from friends or the Internet. The scare is whether these information are right or wrong. Most of the information on the Internet are not from experienced people. Also, there is nothing concrete your friend, except they have also acquired it from a good source or are doing well in those areas. You see, the thing about asking the right questions from the right people is that you gain expert advise. The reason most people are confused is that they do not have the right people in their contacts that they can seek the right answers from. Even with those who have the right people, they refuse to ask for fear of rejection or due to pride. The rule is simple, ask good questions when you get the chance to be with the right network of people.

Not Getting the Right Answers

A lot of people are confused in life because there are too many selfish people around us. You may ask the questions but not get the right answers. Some people fear to share their experience for fear of someone stealing their ideas. For instance, a student asks a teacher a question and they get the response, "Go and do your own research." A participant at a seminar may also ask a question from a resource person but they tend to give shallow feedback and expect you to find out the real details by yourself. This causes people to adopt the 'try and error' method which leads to huge mistakes that could have been avoided in the first place. My appeal to parents and leaders is that they should try and be transparent enough in their bid to mentor young people.

Poor Teaching and Learning Methods

We are in the dispensation where young people are unable to think for themselves because they are used to been 'spoon fed'. Most teachers do not adopt the discussion and assignment methods frequently. This makes the children dull and expectant of the teacher's tutorials. The result of this is that young people end up failing in life, beginning with their examinations. I believe we can do better especially at the lower levels of education and parenting. When well taught, young people become smart in their thinking and are not always dependent on someone for help. In the end, there will be less confused people in the world.

Using Social Media Platforms Wrongly

I believe another thing young people are doing wrongly is the abuse of social media. The thing about social media is that it can be misleading and addictive. However, using the various mediums such as Facebook and Instagram wisely can be life changing. There is more to social media than meets the eye. Facebook is a good channel to sell products and ideas to people. Not every person is wired to be an entrepreneur. Finding typical issues and areas to discuss and talk about on Internet can help shape someone's life directly and indirectly. So instead of taking pictures of yourself everyday, which is boring and sometimes annoying, what can you offer that can change someone's life? There are a lot of opportunities that one can attract when social media is used wisely. Build contacts there by following and adding friends who are success minded. Exposure to good ideas and products shared on social media helps make an impact on young people.

I hope I have been able to unravel some secrets that can help you ease up some confusion. Please remember to read, read, and read. Also, never underestimate the power of networking with the right people. These things make life  much easier to live. I would like to know how you have overcome some of life's uncertainties as an individual. Kindly do share with me by commenting and keeping in touch.

Justica Anima 

Adjeianima@gmail.com
Switstica@gmail.com

9 Traits of Highly Desirable Women

The dictionaries define “Desirable” as “worth having or wanting; pleasant, excellent or fine.”

Any man or woman who has dreamed of a future has probably created an image of what he or she would desire most in their partner. And most women have probably wished to be more desirable at some point. While the world keeps hankering over what exactly are the characteristics of highly desirable women, the truth is that we can only speculate. The definition will keep evolving.

However, we can safely say that highly desirable women will likely have the following nine characteristics.

1. They don’t chase people

Highly desirable women would rather chase their own awesomeness, because they know running after people is just a waste of time. They also know that it is a much better idea to become better versions of their own selves. The world will take notice when they progress in their own lives.

They don’t have time for such chases because they are just too busy creating a better life for themselves. That’s what makes a woman more desirable — that carefree, confident attitude. They are complete in themselves.

2. They are in control of their emotions

You won’t find desirable women moping about every bad relationship or failure in their lives. Instead, they are always in control of their emotions. They don’t waste their time and energy in harboring useless emotions that won’t bring them progress.

Simply put, desirable women would much rather be a shoulder when needed than be a constant cry baby.

3. They avoid gossip

Desirable women would rather use their time productively than for indulging in petty gossip. Gossip and too much talking creates drama. Desirable women know this. Petty gossip, useless talking, and drama is for school girls — not the desirable women that we look up to.

4. They are not attention seekers

You will not see desirable women posting selfies constantly or changing their relationship statuses on social media with every crush. They don’t like to spam people with such trivialities. They would much rather be known and talked about for their real and meaningful achievements.

They believe in earning attention from like-minded people, not snatching it with constant updates on the happenings in their lives. They earn respect instead of asking for it. They believe in maintaining a mystery about their lives which only selected people can have access to.

5. They don’t lose themselves in their relationships

It’s not that they hold back. Desirable women don’t lose themselves to create happiness for someone else. They have a life of their own that goes beyond the relationship. They don’t cling to their boyfriends or girlfriends constantly.

They don’t lose sight of their goals and dreams for love. They don’t lose their identity. Desirable women make smart decisions about how much time they are willing to devote to their relationships and to their goals. They set their priorities. They let their relationships add to their lives — not become their whole lives.

6. They have hobbies and passions

Desirable women make massive efforts to become better at their hobbies and passions. You won’t find these women constantly procrastinating. They find out what they love doing and do it with finesse.

Desirable women don’t waste their lives with mindless addictions, like staring at their mobile phones all day. They use their time to take up hobbies and work on improving. Some of the most desirable women are the ones who care deeply about their hobbies. It defines them and makes them more interesting people.

7. They are fiercely intelligent

Intelligence does not always refer to IQ. Desirable women are fiercely intelligent in terms of their understanding of the world and its people. They have a certain kind of wisdom that comes from experience, from a plethora of mistakes and a life full of lessons.

They have impeccable understanding of life and themselves — something that really adds to their desirability. They are no strangers to deep conversation.

8. They are always graceful

Women who understand and take pride in their womenhood are the ones that know that grace and elegance are not qualities you compromise with. It’s not about their appearance but their aura. What makes them highly desirable is that they don’t worry about their physical shortcomings. They fix what they can and carry themselves with elegance and charm that only a lady can possess.

They dress well and know how to exude confidence. What makes this all the more easier is that desirable women know that grace does not come with expensive fashion choices. It comes with self confidence.

9. They are brilliant communicators

They have clarity of thought and it shows in the words they choose, no matter which language those words are in. The confidence that they exude can easily win over hearts. They are logical with the right mix of rationality and emotion. Desirable women don’t overdo it.

They will let you talk, make you feel wanted, hear you with compassion, and show genuineness in their interactions. They know how important it is to be a good communicator and they also know what it takes to be one.

These are some of the characteristics of highly desirable women. Of course, there are many other traits that can be deemed “desirable.” Nevertheless, these are a few characteristics that will always draw us in.

Source. Life hack.org