Why Today's Youth Are More Confused

With the increase in technology and Internet usage, one may presume that today's young people will be smarter than their predecessors. It is rather saddening that they are doing less with the more opportunities at their disposal. Young people today are missing key elements of learning and growth because they refuse to tap into knowledge. The average young person today is more likely to be surfing the Internet most of their time and yet achieving less in life. This may be a good thing if they were making good use of the Internet by; learning relevant skills on YouTube, and building sellable apps and brands. However, the reverse is  happening which calls for alarm.

Disregard For Leaders

Most young people don't hold great people in high esteem. Now everyone believes that they are 'superstars' of some sort. Instead of regarding people in higher positions and drawing close to them,we rather tend to withdraw. Young people call leaders names instead of tapping into their expertise. They would be admiring them in their hearts but outwardly you find them lambasting celebrities, parliamentarians, entrepreneurs, professionals and great people in general. I cannot tell whether they do this out of jealousy, yet these are the same people we look up to and wish to be like in future. This is how the confusion starts, bringing us to our next point.

Not Confiding In the Right People

You know what? I recommend John C. Maxwell's 'Good Leaders Ask Great Questions'  to you. It teaches practical questions and ways one can deal with Leaders to become a leader. Another challenge for most young people is asking questions. Now, imagine you do not have any role models who fall in the Leadership category mentioned in the first point, how will you ever ask questions. You will hear a lot of young people discussing the answers they sought from friends or the Internet. The scare is whether these information are right or wrong. Most of the information on the Internet are not from experienced people. Also, there is nothing concrete your friend, except they have also acquired it from a good source or are doing well in those areas. You see, the thing about asking the right questions from the right people is that you gain expert advise. The reason most people are confused is that they do not have the right people in their contacts that they can seek the right answers from. Even with those who have the right people, they refuse to ask for fear of rejection or due to pride. The rule is simple, ask good questions when you get the chance to be with the right network of people.

Not Getting the Right Answers

A lot of people are confused in life because there are too many selfish people around us. You may ask the questions but not get the right answers. Some people fear to share their experience for fear of someone stealing their ideas. For instance, a student asks a teacher a question and they get the response, "Go and do your own research." A participant at a seminar may also ask a question from a resource person but they tend to give shallow feedback and expect you to find out the real details by yourself. This causes people to adopt the 'try and error' method which leads to huge mistakes that could have been avoided in the first place. My appeal to parents and leaders is that they should try and be transparent enough in their bid to mentor young people.

Poor Teaching and Learning Methods

We are in the dispensation where young people are unable to think for themselves because they are used to been 'spoon fed'. Most teachers do not adopt the discussion and assignment methods frequently. This makes the children dull and expectant of the teacher's tutorials. The result of this is that young people end up failing in life, beginning with their examinations. I believe we can do better especially at the lower levels of education and parenting. When well taught, young people become smart in their thinking and are not always dependent on someone for help. In the end, there will be less confused people in the world.

Using Social Media Platforms Wrongly

I believe another thing young people are doing wrongly is the abuse of social media. The thing about social media is that it can be misleading and addictive. However, using the various mediums such as Facebook and Instagram wisely can be life changing. There is more to social media than meets the eye. Facebook is a good channel to sell products and ideas to people. Not every person is wired to be an entrepreneur. Finding typical issues and areas to discuss and talk about on Internet can help shape someone's life directly and indirectly. So instead of taking pictures of yourself everyday, which is boring and sometimes annoying, what can you offer that can change someone's life? There are a lot of opportunities that one can attract when social media is used wisely. Build contacts there by following and adding friends who are success minded. Exposure to good ideas and products shared on social media helps make an impact on young people.

I hope I have been able to unravel some secrets that can help you ease up some confusion. Please remember to read, read, and read. Also, never underestimate the power of networking with the right people. These things make life  much easier to live. I would like to know how you have overcome some of life's uncertainties as an individual. Kindly do share with me by commenting and keeping in touch.

Justica Anima 

Adjeianima@gmail.com
Switstica@gmail.com

9 Traits of Highly Desirable Women

The dictionaries define “Desirable” as “worth having or wanting; pleasant, excellent or fine.”

Any man or woman who has dreamed of a future has probably created an image of what he or she would desire most in their partner. And most women have probably wished to be more desirable at some point. While the world keeps hankering over what exactly are the characteristics of highly desirable women, the truth is that we can only speculate. The definition will keep evolving.

However, we can safely say that highly desirable women will likely have the following nine characteristics.

1. They don’t chase people

Highly desirable women would rather chase their own awesomeness, because they know running after people is just a waste of time. They also know that it is a much better idea to become better versions of their own selves. The world will take notice when they progress in their own lives.

They don’t have time for such chases because they are just too busy creating a better life for themselves. That’s what makes a woman more desirable — that carefree, confident attitude. They are complete in themselves.

2. They are in control of their emotions

You won’t find desirable women moping about every bad relationship or failure in their lives. Instead, they are always in control of their emotions. They don’t waste their time and energy in harboring useless emotions that won’t bring them progress.

Simply put, desirable women would much rather be a shoulder when needed than be a constant cry baby.

3. They avoid gossip

Desirable women would rather use their time productively than for indulging in petty gossip. Gossip and too much talking creates drama. Desirable women know this. Petty gossip, useless talking, and drama is for school girls — not the desirable women that we look up to.

4. They are not attention seekers

You will not see desirable women posting selfies constantly or changing their relationship statuses on social media with every crush. They don’t like to spam people with such trivialities. They would much rather be known and talked about for their real and meaningful achievements.

They believe in earning attention from like-minded people, not snatching it with constant updates on the happenings in their lives. They earn respect instead of asking for it. They believe in maintaining a mystery about their lives which only selected people can have access to.

5. They don’t lose themselves in their relationships

It’s not that they hold back. Desirable women don’t lose themselves to create happiness for someone else. They have a life of their own that goes beyond the relationship. They don’t cling to their boyfriends or girlfriends constantly.

They don’t lose sight of their goals and dreams for love. They don’t lose their identity. Desirable women make smart decisions about how much time they are willing to devote to their relationships and to their goals. They set their priorities. They let their relationships add to their lives — not become their whole lives.

6. They have hobbies and passions

Desirable women make massive efforts to become better at their hobbies and passions. You won’t find these women constantly procrastinating. They find out what they love doing and do it with finesse.

Desirable women don’t waste their lives with mindless addictions, like staring at their mobile phones all day. They use their time to take up hobbies and work on improving. Some of the most desirable women are the ones who care deeply about their hobbies. It defines them and makes them more interesting people.

7. They are fiercely intelligent

Intelligence does not always refer to IQ. Desirable women are fiercely intelligent in terms of their understanding of the world and its people. They have a certain kind of wisdom that comes from experience, from a plethora of mistakes and a life full of lessons.

They have impeccable understanding of life and themselves — something that really adds to their desirability. They are no strangers to deep conversation.

8. They are always graceful

Women who understand and take pride in their womenhood are the ones that know that grace and elegance are not qualities you compromise with. It’s not about their appearance but their aura. What makes them highly desirable is that they don’t worry about their physical shortcomings. They fix what they can and carry themselves with elegance and charm that only a lady can possess.

They dress well and know how to exude confidence. What makes this all the more easier is that desirable women know that grace does not come with expensive fashion choices. It comes with self confidence.

9. They are brilliant communicators

They have clarity of thought and it shows in the words they choose, no matter which language those words are in. The confidence that they exude can easily win over hearts. They are logical with the right mix of rationality and emotion. Desirable women don’t overdo it.

They will let you talk, make you feel wanted, hear you with compassion, and show genuineness in their interactions. They know how important it is to be a good communicator and they also know what it takes to be one.

These are some of the characteristics of highly desirable women. Of course, there are many other traits that can be deemed “desirable.” Nevertheless, these are a few characteristics that will always draw us in.

Source. Life hack.org

What I Learnt From The Creative Writing Class That Every Writer and Non-writer Needs To Know

The best way to communicate your ideas is through sharing it. That is exactly what most writers seek to achieve. You cannot deal fairly with any viable business unless you can communicate your thoughts and ideas effectively. The Creative Writing Class seeks to educate students of the Ghana Institute of Journalism on the relevance of being creative in sharing out information in the form of writing.

There are numerous workshops being run during the class periods. Most of these workshops build capacity and skills of students to enable them be better writers and communicators. In one of such workshops I deduced these few lessons I am about to share with you.

Social media presence

The need for social media in today's world cannot be overlooked. Brands and companies are widely using these platforms to build themselves. The interactive nature of a business or individual's social media platform is what gains them the winning urge. Apparently, most people are on social media and are unaware of the many great opportunities in it. For some, it is a waste of resources and time. With a look at the brighter side, you will be amazed at how your social media presence can make or mar your career or personal life. The main lesson here is that whether you are active on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Google+, and what have you; you must be able to use that to better brand yourself as an individual or a business through writings.

Best Career Path

Most people are unaware of the many career opportunities that writers are open up to. For most people, writers are mainly authors and journalists. That assumption is entirely wrong because in today's world where technology and internet are rampant, writers play a bigger role. We can now find varied career options for writers such as Playwright, Concept developer, Personal Assistants, Communications Expert or Personnel, Brand Ambassadors, Spoken Word Artists, Bloggers, Creative Directors, Editors, Script Writers, Social Media Manager, Website Developer and Manager,  just to mention but a few. In all of this, one amazing quality runs through and that is the ability to write and communicate well. However, if none of these options seem attractive to you, writing and communication may still come in handy at a point in your life so you cannot afford not to learn it.

Learning Wide and free

Learning in the contest of school is good. However, learning from other avenues is great. It is good to always have skills that you can rely on, especially in these times when finding a job is a huge task. A lot of people learning amazing things on the Internet while others observe daily situations and pick up lessons from there. Whichever way, one must always learn and build on areas where you have much interest in. For example singing, writing, acting, driving, learning a language, and cooking. The benefits of learning wide is that it opens you up for greater tasks ahead. If you refuse to learn today, the possibility of you becoming great is low. Learners are Winners. As part of your learning, you need to share what you have learnt with others. This form of sharing can best be done or expressed through writing, in the form of journals, drama, blog, music and the likes.

Starting Small

This may sound cliche but the truth of the matter is, you will have to start anyway. The thing about the Creative is that you will have to build enough followership who consistently see your works and begin to believe in you. By starting small, you will be building contacts and learning along the way. Like the growth process, you finally become mature and experienced in whichever field you decide to pursue. If you want to be the best photographer, you will need to start with the community and people closer to you. As time goes on, you can capture pictures at events and a lot more places. The same with writing, you need to post from less interesting to horrible stories in other to become a celebrated writer. That is how the journey to stardom begins.

Partnerships

One good thing about teamwork that I know is that it never disappoints. This is due to the fact that there are so many ideas on board that will actually attract excellence. One key lesson in the Creative Writing Class that I cannot miss to share is Partnering. With this, a group of people come together to champion a course which one person may not have been able to handle. For instance, a group of students can build on a concept which they can manage to bring into reality. The group may consist of the writer, the photographer, a publicist, a tech addict, and a marketer. This group can successfully manage a Blog or Website and better brand themselves as compared to one person doing all of those tasks by themselves.

I hope these few tips help to renew your mind and grant you better career ideas. What other lessons can you share with regards to Writing and Creativity? How has writing helped you in life and in your career?

Justica Anima
Adjeianima@gmail.com
Switstica.blogspot.com

Will You Marry A Sex Worker?

Recently,  I watched a movie which got me wondering.  In the movie, a desperate guy wanted to get a wife. He combed through everywhere in search of the bone-of-his-bones but to no avail. In the end,  he decided to confide in his pastor and friend. He fasted and prayed according to the leading of his pastor friend.

At the end of the fast, he met a young lady he wanted to propose to but found out that she was a sex worker. Well, it happened that it was God's chosen wife for him. He had to convince her to stop her immoral acts. Finally,  she did and they got married happily.

Brothers,  what will make you consider marrying a sex worker? The reality however is that men never want to share their women with the exception of a few who would not mind (did I hear, never? ). Last year, I read an article a website posted on Facebook. It was about a fifty-something years old ex sex worker who shared her story of how she ended up in the act. She also shared her sad story of abuse and disrespect to her womanhood. Fortunately for her, she found love at the point when she thought it was the end of the road for her. They were married for twenty three years at the time of the publication.  She also shared how loving and caring her husband was, and how much he respected her despite her past.

In other settings,  this may seem okay. Let's come to Ghana, or perhaps Africa, where we hold strong moral and cultural values. A woman who cheats in a relationship can even fail to pass as a wife material. Talk less of a sex worker. Worst case, you may accept to marry her but the society will condemn you. The average Ghanaian man will even use that past as a reference point whenever there is a misunderstanding. Most men will chase after them because they are beautiful, available, and good in bed; are these not what you seek in a woman?

The pivot of this discussion is however not the role the woman plays as a sex worker. The issue is whether or not she fits into the category as a wife. Sometimes, such people have very good hearts and only need a little love and encouragement and a support system. Instead of pushing them away, I believe it's about time some men married them and showed them the way to liberation and compassion. You will be surprised at the level of loyalty some of these women carry. Some also have great ambitions that may have been shattered by their homes or society due to broken homes, irresponsible parenting, and poverty.

Society has a great role to play in bringing up female children. Women by their nature are very dependent on society for growth and development. The number of great women who succeed in life mostly have a solid support system either from the family, school, religious institutions, or society in general. It is about time we gave ear to the needs of women and girls. Parents should be more keen on the girl child. Organisations and Stakeholders should also pay attention to the needs of women and girl child development by intervening in areas where they fall short such as education, training and job creation.

As for men who abuse women, the least said about them the better. And to those who seek sexual favors from vulnerable women... Ayekoo!(Well done!) For all you know, you are the ones promoting sex workers in the world today. As I mentioned earlier, most of these women have good hearts and their behaviors may have been triggered by a horrible background, find out and be good towards them. Marry them if it demands you should.

I am not here to advocate that the act is a good one. However, I am here to question the status quo. Do Men marry sex workers? Will you allow your son or brother to marry one? Do you know someone who married a sex worker? What is your opinion on the subject matter? I for one believe that they are also humans deserving of love. Come to think of it, if you can patronize them why not commit anyway?

Justica Anima 

Adjeianima@gmail.com

Switstica.blogspot.com

5 Study Tips For The Everyday Student

Most students have difficulty studying and making good grades. Considering the many activities that go on around and in school, it is easy to lose focus on what is most important. Studies are a great way to make the grades while in school so it cannot be underestimated. Here are a few ways to guide you while pursuing studies in school.

Don't procrastinate

Having things to study and leaving them for another time can guarantee failure. It is important to focus on the little in order to get the big catch. Studying in bits on a regular means that you can accumulate much in a short while. Never wait until the last minute to grasp a whole learning material. That can cause excessive overload and confusion to your memory.

Keep a schedule

Planning what time periods you want to study is a good way to start. You will need specific time periods that you want to study a particular subject. Most refer to scheduling various times for various subjects as time table. In short, keep a time table to help you study at apportioned times.

Join Study Groups

For most people this is a good way to learn topics which were not well explained or understood in the classroom. The aim of study groups is to help students learn from each other. Not everyone  likes or enjoys study groups. However,  it helps in sharing knowledge and ideas on a subject matter. It also serves people with ideas and boosts students' confidence, as they are able to contribute better with friends than in the class.

Teach what you learn

The ability to teach colleagues and friends helps one to recollect learnt information. It is advisable not to keep to oneself what you learn but to share it with friends who may not understand that topic or subject. Teaching opens up new ideas for the one teaching.  It also serves as a good memorization process for every student who adopts it.

Read Wide

Reading helps to exercise the mind. It sharpens the memory and allows for easy comprehension of words and sentences. A person who reads more tends to be more ahead in class than his or her fellow students. Reading helps one to regain facts and information that may be hidden from the majority. I'm order to stay ahead of the pack, read as many books as possible.

 I hope this helps us in our bid to be 'Grade A' students. Learning or studying is a good practice irrespective of where we find ourselves. Can you share some of your helpful study tips?

Justica Anima 

Adjeianima@gmail.com

Switstica.blogspot.com 

Is Foreign Aid Good or Bad For Africa?: A Case Study of Economic Development of The Third World

According to Todaro(1992), Economic development is a multidimensional process involving the reorganization and reorientation of the entire economic and social systems. In addition to improvement in income and output; it typically involves radical changes in institutional, social, and administrative structures as well as in popular attitudes and in many cases even customs and beliefs.

Africa as a third world nation has the attribute of depending on more developed nations for support. The question however is whether or not these aids have benefited us with regards to the definition stated above; as developing areas of the economy, social structures, and even attitudes and customs of the nation.

To start with, we can say that Africa has benefited through the numerous infrastructural set ups we see in our cities today. For instance, the building of roads, schools,  hospitals, banks, and industries among others. It cannot be disputed however that these infrastructures render a level of output that go into developing other aspects of our economy.

The debate however lies in how negatively we use these aids and how the negative effects far outnumber the positive. For example, the rate of corruption has increased in African nations. The leaders end up using the greater part of the monies acquired on luxury to the detriment of our development. Most of these leaders are very clear about the goals for seeking these aids but are not able to bring them into fruition due to selfish gains and ambitions. Corrupt practices, embezzlement of funds, and using monies generated from international organizations like International Monetary fund for misplaced priorities is the cause of our many woes in Africa.

Furthermore, more areas of Africa remain impoverished and the sufferings of the larger population increases. In Ghana for instance, the Northern and rural areas have nothing to write home about when it comes to development and social interventions unlike the the few urban centers. Throwing good money to a bad government and a people with poor attitudes make their nation worse off. That is to say that the attitude of the people must change. Of what use will the aid from World Health Organisation be if the people still observe poor sanitation practises which can render them unhealthy  anyway?

Last of all, these aids seek to cripple and manipulate the people to do the will of their donors. An example is how Ghana and Uganda had their aids withdrawn due to the fact that they did not accept to legalised homosexuality. This is to inform us that so far as there is some level of influence from the donor country to use these aids for specific interests, Africa and therefore underdeveloped nations will continue to struggle for development.

Once there is over dependence on foreign aid,  we can forget about developing our total infrastructure, level of income and output, and to some extent our attitudes and beliefs as a continent.

Adjeianima@gmail.com

The Communication and Relationship Factor: Dealing with People

The learning process is an interesting journey to embark on.
When it comes to dealing with people, most of us find it quite difficult. Everyone seems to have their own egoistic nature that they will not allow to be bruised. However like in most games,  there are always winners and losers. Choosing to be a winner or loser in our relationships with people is a personal choice. I mostly hear people say play the fool and let the issues die. I beg to differ. We all have specific attitudes and behaviours that can make a relationship thrive which must not be overlooked.

Know your role

In dealing with people, it is advisable to know what you stand for in their life. If you are the leader, it is good to be firm. Mind you, you are trying to be liked and to be obeyed at the same time. Does that mean you must be a dictator in order to be obeyed? It is key to note that people will get offended no matter how we treat them. That is not to say that we must treat them anyhow anyway. If you know your role as a friend,  family, sister, aunt, teacher, in another person's life, you learn words and actions that can easily communicate to the person. Choose words that do not easily offend the person's personality. Applaud and rebuke, but in a way that resonates your exact sentiments to the person without them feeling offended.

Respect other's views

In as much as we all share different opinions in life, it is important to listen  and understand before we communicate. I find it very unapologetic when people refuse to listen and later give bad judgment of a situation. I bet this is not taught in most of our classrooms. However,  any good communication book will teach you the importance of listening and understanding before communicating . After listening, it helps you understand the angle from which the other party is coming from. This way, we are able to give a good if not better response. Never rubbish another person's view on a situation just because you disagree.

Speak with empathy

How does it feel when after telling someone your situation the person speaks to you with so much concern and love? That is exactly what empathy seeks to achieve. You are able to connect with someone's opinion, be in their shoes, and communicate well in relation to their very self. Once you begin to attack another without truly understanding them, you open yourself to disagreements.

Be soft and firm

The truth is that not all persons can handle being treated with persuasion, sometimes it is good to be firm for others to get the message. In the bid to be firm and frank, we also do not want to appear difficult, tough or controversial (some terms given to firm people). In this way, we can communicate firmness and softness in a way that resonates true concerns, with words that will not be misunderstood or misconstrued. Literally, what this means is let your yes be yes, and your no be no.

The focus of this is to try as much as possible not to step on so many toes while dealing with people in our everyday lives. Do share how best you communicate with people with us. The aim is to be able to win more friends and influence more people rather than more enemies or ill wishers.

Do Men Fear to Approach High Maintenance Women?

It recently struck me that most women are falling short of men in their lives.  This observation  is based on a little of my experience and experiences of other women in my life.  Now let's shift our focus first to who a high maintenance woman is.

She is one that has empowered herself to do more. She is a well groomed person who knows which colors and pieces to combine when it comes to clothing. She likes to look good and guess what? When you're with her you look good too. She is one who is confident, outspoken, and not easily intimidated. She is knowledgeable and holds a good conversation anytime anywhere. Sometimes, she may own her own company or be doing very well in her field of endeavor. As the name goes, she requires that she well taken care of in order to be maintained. In all, she is fun to be with.

My friends and I mostly talk about relationships among other interesting subject matters. And anytime we hold such conversations they never said anything good about men in general. That aside,  Esi, who is the most high maintenance amongst us revealed that men of our time like women who they can easily manipulate to do their will without questioning. All of us could not agree less. But the question was why is that?

That is not to say there are no men who like this category of women. But the question is how many do? Perhaps our men have a problem with confidence in themselves. Better still, it may be the issue of taking good care of these type of women. Alex my friend confirmed my thoughts when he told me that the way he sees me if I do not hurry and get married,  soon men will not approach me anymore. His reason for saying that was simple, because I know too much and that could scare the men away. Did that mean that men wanted stupid women?

That conversation left me thinking. Here I was, thinking that our men rather loved to be around women who could bring ideas on board. A week after conversing with Alex,  another guy came up with the same talk when my cousin jokingly called him her new boyfriend. You should have seen how he screamed. He mentioned that he cannot handle her as a girlfriend because he may not be able to make her happy. Asked why he said that? He confessed that women like her are hard to please because they put in a lot of energy in looking healthy and beautiful. I only shook my head in disbelief.

The fear of most women now is whether or not to look or feel good, or to pursue higher heights since the men are not forthcoming. I write this because of such women and also to the men out there. Sisters, it is a good thing to build yourself up. It is a good thing to always look your best. This should not be because you want to actually attract a man. Basically, it is to make you happy with or without a man. To the men, such women are really not difficult to please. You just have to be a full blown highly responsible man to match up to their needs as women. Not all of such women are spend rifts, disrespectful, impolite and promiscuous as most of you think. They are simply ladies who have learned to carry themselves with the respect in their society.

That brings us to the story about Priscilla. She used to be so much into fashion. Her fashion sense was 'wow'. Make up on point. Clothing on point. Bags and shoes on point. Accessories on point. Intelligence spectacular. She only had one issue and that was finding love. Someone then advised her to tone down her dressing and also not engage in so much intelligent conversations when talking to men. She obeyed and found love. She got married and her husband started following intelligent well groomed(high maintenance) young women.

Priscilla is currently divorced and living her life happily as a single. She had to learn the hard way that being herself would have been better. It could have won her the right person that matched her personality. So back to the question, do Ghanaian men fear to approach high maintenance women? Share your thoughts to help a woman unravel a mystery.

Justica Anima (all social networks)
Adjeianima@gmail.com

Are Women the Weaker Sex?

"The more women know about business, money and finance, the greater freedom they will enjoy and the more likely they will be to discover their own power." - Robert T. Kiyosaki, International Bestseller of Rich Dad Poor Dad.

We often hear stories of women whose husbands left them for another. We also hear of women abuse in our societies, either physical or emotional. Most often, these women do not leave when these harsh conditions are meted out to them and so they are termed weak. Women have a weak physical outlook, are mostly soft-hearted, kind, and caring in nature. However, these qualities cannot be used to draw conclusions that women are weak.

Women contribution in world dominance cannot be overlooked. They play a key role in bringing humanity into existence through childbirth. Also, they act as good managers starting from the home. Women are also great with sales and marketing as they have tolerance and patience with every kind of customer they meet. They exude peace and promote profitability at the workplace.

Go to our schools today and analyse for yourselves. It is of no doubt that our girls are taking the top scores in the classroom. Girls exhibit diligence and smartness towards learning as compared to the boys. It is only saddening that along the line, these smart individuals are brainwashed with the idea that it is a man's world. Due to this, women grow up thinking various sectors in the job market are men's domain.

Going back to the olden days, women were those who began trade and business. When men went to hunt and farm, it was women who sold the proceeds in order to generate income for the family. As agriculture gradually made way for industrialisation, men adopted these skills of their women. It is not surprising that today men run businesses and politics to somehow the disadvantage of women.

In recent times, women are taking up managing businesses, attaining higher education, and running parliament and law firms alongside their male counterparts. In fact, they are doing so well in these areas. In view of this, celebrating women excellence should be encouraged in order to draw more of them into these areas. Women today are liberating themselves from the idea that they are the weaker ones, and that they cannot thrive in a man's world.

Truth is, the battle of whether or not women are the weaker sex lies not in muscles or physical strength. Rather, it lies in mental power, emotional strength, and general wellbeing of both sexes in all aspects of life. Societies which blend both men and women's strength are those that will thrive.

As we celebrate International Women's day, I take the opportunity to salute all the strong women rubbing shoulders with men in every dispensation. More and more women must join forces to bring their ideas on the table. Perhaps, women taking up governmental roles will help curb the many problems that the world is facing today. Let us help build a strong force as women and never be stopped in our tracks while pursuing the higher calling on our lives. Let us free ourselves from depending on our men so much that we lose sight of the many strengths that lie within us.

Are women really the weaker sex? What is your take on women's impact on society? How has a woman played key role in your development as an individual? Let's get interactive on these questions wherever we find ourselves. 

Justica Anima (on all on social media networks)
Email: switstica@gmail.com
Blog: switstica.blogspot.com

Tell me About 59 Years Old Ghana.

"Our independence is meaningless unless it is linked to the total liberation of Africa" -Dr. Kwame Nkrumah, Ghana's first President.

It is a good thing to be independent, if you ask me. It is not by mere coincidence that a country gains total control of its own affairs at an early stage. Well, for me independence means a lot more than just not being under the control of another nation. It is a life long journey with a million stories.

The problem about us as a people is that we refuse to free our minds just as I am about to do, yet we claim to be "bold to defend forever the cause of freedom and of rights". I will not hesitate to applaud our forefathers, especially the Big Six, for their great achievements and heroic acts towards building this nation. They did all they could to make sure we could man our own affairs. The baton has since been passed and here we are, 59 years and still counting.

The stench at the Makola market sings "happy birthday to you Ghana". The trotro mate greets you, "yeees! Front" literally scaring its occupants, and reminding you not to look back. The hawkers on our streets sell their wares to you, Ghana, by crying out, "yeees! Pure water, Yoghurt, Tampico, Fan Ice, P.K, Mentos, meat pieeee!". Traders run helter skelter with their wares in a bid to escape the wrath of A.M.A task force(Abaye). 59 years old Ghana wakes up not to alarm clocks but to the harsh beatings on the shoe maker's box and the cries of, "hwan na etwe3 ?", translated as, "whose turn is it to scrub?". 

School children sing in chorus, "...Feel our hearts with true humi-li-ty, make us cheerlish, fearest, honestly..." With what meaning can the average Ghanaian school child attach to its National Anthem? Something we claim to have taught them in our schools. The minimum wage a worker takes is 120 Ghana cedis. Will you take that amount at 59 years old? After having to work for 30 days or more and this could be your take home salary. What will you buy with it? In a sudden speed, transportation fares have taken a full fly and citizens pay silently in pain out of their meagre salaries and income.

Ask me about 59 years and I will only assume it is a time for rest and a time void of stress. A time when your money works for you and your children cater for your needs.  The children you took time to bring up, and not shirk your responsibilities from. A period of enjoying the fruits of your labour. But no! The only fruits to be enjoyed here is that of freedom to move about freely and say anything freely. Yes! freedom like the madman roaming aimlessly in the streets, graduates lying lazily in their beds and of "dead goats living"  unconcerned lives.

Is that all there is to say about Ghana? Oh! Lest I forget. We are enjoying less than 3% of proceeds from our mining sector and importing tilapia when we are surrounded by sea and rivers everywhere. We almost import everything and export chocolate wrapped in paper and foil since the day of Tetteh Quarshie's discovery of the cocoa seeds. Is this the Liberation our father of Independence was referring to?

And to think that Yaa Asantewaa may have left some of her courage in Ghanaian "queens", women of our time are rather "queens" of America. Buying the hair, eyelashes, hips, lips, nails, and waists of the western world. Call it globalisation and Yaa Asantewaa will sneeze in her grave. Ashamed of their "kpenkpeshi"(kinky) sun-silk hair. And even more so, afraid to rise up and proclaim, "Where are the brave men of yesterday? If you men will not fight, we the women will". Women of our time cannot even boast of independence from their men amidst all the feminism advocacy.

59 years old Ghana has a lot to boast of, yet a lot more to achieve. We have too many literates in this nation to be hungry and poor. Our thinking caps must not fail us. Our universities are part of the best in Africa.  We have all the natural resources and the able bodied men that the world can boast of. We have one of the best airports in Africa. And our streets are void of attacks by armed men. We can do more. Yes we can!

If the saying that "life begins at 40" is true, then that can be said about us. Five decades and on, we are still and remarkably the Gateway to Africa. Our nation is blessed and so are its inhabitants. Let's pick up hoes and cutlasses. Let's dig deeper and deeper. Let's mine our remaining minerals and hide it away from the thieves. For in some years to come, we may need a treasure to hold on to and to pass on to the next generation. Let us go back and rewrite the story of Africa for in so doing we shall possess our birthright as Ghanaians. Let us not yet sell it for a box of pizza when our delicious banku and okro stew lie in wait.

Long live Osagyefo's Ghana. Best regards to the great men and women of old and present who sweat it out for the nation. Your efforts will remain in the records of workmanship and sacrifice. Now back to the issue, tell me about 59 years old Ghana because stories of old are best told by the grey-haired.

switstica@gmail.com

A Child From My Country: Realities of the Ghanaian Child

In the country where I come from, everything is either taken too seriously or as a joke. I do not know from which angle this piece of writing will be tackled from. I lie on my bed at 11.40, thinking to myself what would have become of me if I was born in a different setting or location or country. Whenever you go through the the hall of fame for greatness, it is mostly ascribed to the older folks from where I come from. A few youngsters are able to make name for themselves, but even with that their names soon vanish into thin air. Children are not mostly accorded that big regard as compared to older people (maybe for a short while,fine).

I recall a time with my mom when I was in primary school. I told her I wanted to publish a book. She just looked at me and smiled, confirming her disbelief. There I was seated, so young and full of ideas but immediately discouraged by my own mother. Many people think when you are young, your place is in school or playing with the other kids. Nothing more, nothing less. Yes, this is the country where I am from. A place where a child does not talk back when adults are talking. Neither does a child suggest things to their parents. They are considered too young, lacking of wisdom and expertise.

For this and many other reasons, a child who does well is highly overrated and over hyped. Making it look like children's achievements are a big deal. Meanwhile children from other diaspora are given all the needed support and so their achievements do not seem so much overwhelming. They build tech devices, learn many languages, play mega musical instruments, program softwares, build robots and solve difficult and challenging problems. And what do children in my country do? Watch television, play video games, eat Indomie, sleep...

Children grow by observation. Also, from a little experience with them, I have realised that the foundation a child grows on builds him or her for their future. Children raised up in a free learning environment tend to be more intelligent than the ones who are restricted. My country parents are quick to correction and discipline. They place children in a box where they cannot learn outside from. For instance, a child's curiosity for learning is easily killed by destroying their sense of questioning. A child who always asks questions is quickly discouraged by shutting them up anytime they question a particular situation. Better still, they are answered but not with the right answers.

What then are we teaching our children? What impact can our children have on society? How can we motivate children to do more for themselves? How do we grow a generation of future thinkers and nation builders using tools and recreational avenues that challenge their minds? How can we turn the idea of the child scrap collector to a viable business venture? Or the child who questions a lot? Or the girl child who knows how to dress her doll so well? Or the computer-game child's enthusiasm into computer programming? Ask a child today what he or she wants to do in future and they will mention some funny profession or nothing at all? Confused children, is this the future we are building for our nation?

The average child in my country today is solely dependent on their parents or guardian's direction and orders. What the child chooses as a profession is even chosen for the child. Why are we surprised that we now churn out graduates who are lost in their tracks? This is because we no more encourage initiatives from children, even if we do it is more structural as compared to the ones being run on our television stations. Our school system even make matters worse. Measuring the quality of a child by the marks scored is not the way forward. Rather encouraging each child according to their unique strength or weakness is.

Encourage a child to grow. Applaud a child by their little works. Let's allow them to play, learn, question and explore their world. Let's give them measures and discipline but not to the extent that it halts their learning process. The society must be child friendly amidst the disciplinary measures set while raising them up. Our nation's policies must be child friendly as well. Let's make growing up a haven for children not hell. 12.41am now, calculate how long it took me to put just this together. Perhaps I would have been better than this, who knows?

5 Things You Need To Focus on Your Writing

If you’re struggling to finish all of your writing projects, you’re not alone. I almost always get questions about how I focus long enough to actually accomplish all of the writing I need to get done. So for the sake of all our writing careers, I’m going to try to answer that in today’s post.

1. You Need Real Paper

Computers are incredible. They have made our lives so much easier, but I when it comes to focusing, paper is necessary.
When we write, our minds have a million thoughts running through them. How do I want to organize this chapter? What are my main points? Have I already introduced this character? I’ve found that real paper and pen gives me more power to answer all these questions and allows me to better focus on the writing when I do turn to my laptop.
Oh, and paper is important for doodling.

2. You Need Time

The best way to focus is to give yourself a lot of time. My favorite article about this is written by Cal Newport, which explains the concept of
Deep Work . There is a great benefit to taking two or three hours with zero distractions to get work done.
We focus best when we know we have an entire morning or afternoon to dive into a project. When you write, you delve into another world. You need an extended period of time to refresh yourself with where you left off and where you want to go.

3. You Need Deadlines

Deadlines and I have a serious love/hate relationship. Without them, I get nothing done, but with them, I’m often miserable. However, at the end of the day I need to pay rent and buy food, so deadlines it is.
Don’t just set deadlines for weeks and months in advance, set deadlines for what you will accomplish before lunch. You will focus better knowing exactly what you need to do before you get out of your chair.

4. You Need a Pattern

Before I established a pattern in my writing life I was lucky to roll out of bed before 10 am. I worked when I felt like it and didn’t accomplish a lot. But when I did finally establish a pattern, my whole writing life changed.
Establishing a pattern will help you write more consistently. There’s even research that proves famous writers’ sleeping habits lead to productivity and more focus. (I’m in.) Either way, we are creatures of habit and focus when we are consistent in our lives.

5. You Need a Place

You’re a creative, which means sitting in a cubicle will probably kill you. I wrote a post a while back about the importance of finding your place to write. Finding a place you know you can focus is the key to getting the writing done.
Focusing Takes Practice
Although I always picture myself typing away furiously, crafting word after word into beautiful sentences, it never looks like that. About sixty percent of my time is spent staring out windows, counting the clouds, and wondering if these books will write themselves.

Source: The Write Practice

Understanding Love From the Feminine Side

Love and relationships can be a thing of fun. When you meet the one, your world becomes full of fantasies and happiness. That man or woman becomes the first thing you think about in the morning, and the last in the evening. Women tend to be more emotional inwardly and outwardly when hit by love.

Attention seeking

Women love differently from men. They are more soft and attention seeking. When a woman is in love she wants to know that her man
shifts enough attention to her needs and being. She observes with skepticism how he treats her, the time he devotes to her and the manner in which he upholds her either in private or in public. When the attention is drifted from her unto other areas of his life, the woman bottles in and does not give her all in the relationship. Lack of attention serves as a warning signal for most women.

Cuddling

Women love to be cuddled and in turn they will cuddle back. A woman who is in love loves to be in her man’s arms and on his chest, to be kissed on her forehead, whiles his hands run through her hair, at their lone moments. In public she will prefer to be held close or hand in hand. This is a prove of love for most women. Sadly only few gentlemen can handle this truth.

Respect

Every loved woman learns to be respectful to her man. She forgoes all pride and confidence and relates with respect as she would with her dad. In turn, she demands to be treated with respect. By so doing, her man must respect her time, family, career, personality, and even her sexuality. When the respect is lacking, a woman will easily flee to a safe side. Abusive men are red flags!

Care giving

Every true woman knows the essence of being well taken care of by her man. Relationship experts have actually denounced the notion that women who expect gifts and money from their men are “gold diggers”. It is only weaker men who enter a love train and expect to do nothing for their women. Women appreciate the art of gifts, surprises, dinners and being well taken care of. This gears them up to do even more for their men.

Sex

Women by their nature are not easily sex driven unlike their male counterparts. However, if there should be the act of sex, women attach a lot of meaning to a good one. Where good sex means enough romance, foreplay and good riding. Nothing leaves an indelible mark in the minds of women like a wonderful sex with the man of their lives. So if you will succeed with your woman, you must get to her heart not only by words but by the physical connection that bonds lovers together the most, sex.

This should help you guys, and ladies stop worrying your heads over nothing. You are just perfect and these qualities are just normal. Happy relationship.!

Justica Anima

SALON WAHALA: What Most Women Experience

So your hair is messed up and you need a little fix up, wash through and hair-do right? Your next point of call is the hair salon: a place where you can get your hair made, meet other women, perhaps gossip or be that silent listener. Every woman has their own salon experience. Imagine how boring a salon will be if there wasn't a bit of every female personality in there. There is always the initiator, the seconder, the defendant, the contributor, and the silent listener. Oh yes! You can relate right?
Now, the initiator here is the one who introduces the topic for discussion. This person brings on board issues concerning various topics on relationship, business, marriage, money, politics, and what have you. Her conversion mostly begins like this, "Off late, if you are a woman and you don't look good, another woman will do so and snatch your husband or boyfriend from you oh my sister."

The seconder is always in agreement with the initiator and she may respond in this manner, "Eiii sister! It's very true oo, a friend of mine is facing that problem in her relationship. I tell you, it's very frustrating ooo." At this moment, the defendant quickly interrupts and goes like, "My sisters that is not always the case. If your man loves you, no one can take him from you. If you look good and you don't treat him well in other areas, won't he still leave you?" The defendant now opens room for further debate and counter opinions from the contributors. Every person tells their story or bring their views on board.

The discussion becomes more and more interesting and educative.
All this while, there will be one or more persons who will never say anything but will listen with close attention; and perhaps give a nod in agreement or just smile at some remarks. Women are natural talkers and so when they meet, they easily bond and share extensive ideas on issues. Some build contacts and friendships in the salon. Others come to stir up fights with their rivals, or in other instances their husband or boyfriend snatchers.
One of such incident unfolded at a salon I once visited in town. The wife in question sent an apprentice to call her husband snatcher(h.s for short) to meet her outside. As soon  as the h.s came outside, she received two heavy slaps before any explanation. This resulted in a fight. As they were being separated, the wife now hurled insults on her h.s. "Folish woman, go get yours and stop chasing after people's husbands. May God punish you because you are the reason my husband no more pays attention to his family." Instead of the h.s
keeping mute she replied, "Aboaa! If you were able to satisfy the needs of your man, will he come to me?"

This and many other saddening incidents happen at the salon. I know you have more running through your mind right now. I am happy to have refreshed your memory. Some women also find themselves in trouble after gossiping about someone at the salon. Sometimes you never know the next person seated near you. And while you happily let out all that is in your heart, it is advisable to keep it safe from future troubles. So whichever person you are on the afore mentioned list, make sure your silence or contributions is void of gossip, slander, or personal secrets. Let's have fun at the salon but be careful while at it. Do you have a memorable salon experience? Do share or comment below.

How I Learnt To Deal With A Two-faced Person The Hard Way (Part 2)

[Sequel to previous part: In the first scenario, I described how an unfaithful lover taught me the valuable lesson of dealing with two-faced persons (people who pretend to like you on the outside, and yet have different motives about you on the inside; mostly negative).
First lesson. Flee! In other words, depart from them. Read on as you discover lesson two.] By nature I am someone who hardly makes friends. However, I can be a good companion until something very bad comes up between us. I am mostly withdrawn and observant. I hardly socialise when I find myself in a new environment,what people mostly term in Ghana as "anti-so"(someone who hardly socialises in a public space). Well, my
Choleric- Melancholic temperament blend may play a role in this behavioral pattern. Choleric causes me to be cold and independent, whereas melancholy makes me moody, self-centered, and unsociable. I would advice that you learn something on temperaments(if you have not) so that you can be able to understand people and why they act.
Understanding temperaments will also help you to understand yourself and how well to relate with Others.
I worked as a cashier during an internship program in one financial institution. The journey there was worth experiencing, with specific interest in what I'm about to share. I loved the feel of the corporate environment that I had gotten involved in. But I don't think I was well prepared for the pressure and stress that comes with it. My shock was with someone closest.... my supervisor.
Yaw(not real name), though my superior was my favorite person at the workplace. He was bubbly, friendly and a joker. He was basically a sanguine, one who complimented my temperament. I really liked him and he seemed to like me too. I could fall on him when I faced any challenges at work. As for the manager, the least said about him the better. He was too bossy and strict for a leader. LOL.
A time came for me to handle some personal issues, so I asked Yaw for permission which he granted me; since the manager was not around. I was away for two days. When I returned on Monday, the manager invited me to his office. He asked me to explain my two days French leave. And when I told him I sought permission from the supervisor, Yaw was invited in. I smiled in confidence that my rescuer had arrived, as he walked in. Little did I know that I was about to embrace the shock of my life. Yaw looked me in the face with a frown and told the boss that I did not ever ask permission from him, and that he had not granted me permission. He even added some untrue things about me. At this point I was stuck.
Most of us may have practically faced same situation. Painful thing is that I suffered a one week suspension for that. I could not stand but feel depressed and bitter,but for Sunday's sermon which seemed to have been prepared for me. I later realised that his sanguine nature causes him to be a talkative(they lie sometimes), emotionally unstable, and someone who exaggerates. The following week, he was so miserable at the sight of a refreshed me. I just smiled through, while continually greeting him until we were friends again...this time friends with caution. Second lesson, forgive because you too are not perfect. I still wonder why he sold me out like that(perhaps I had offended him with my mood swings or something... who knows?) , but I learnt to put it behind me and forgave him.
NB: * Two-faced people do not really like you like they actually show you. They show you their real feelings when you most need them.
* Always forgive such people in your heart, and show them you bear them no grudges. They will eventually learn how to get at other people's back by your act.
* They have a problem of standing by the side of another with the fear of losing their image, job or another friend. And therefore they may exhibit betrayal just to save themselves from embarrassing situations.
Peter had this problem when he denied Jesus Christ, which he later regretted.
***to be continued
How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your neighborhood, workplace, school, or society?

[Sequel to previous part: In the first scenario, I described how an unfaithful lover taught me the valuable lesson of dealing with two-faced persons (people who pretend to like you on the outside, and yet have different motives about you on the inside; mostly negative).

First lesson. Flee! In other words, depart from them. Read on as you discover lesson two.] By nature I am someone who hardly makes friends. However, I can be a good companion until something very bad comes up between us. I am mostly withdrawn and observant. I hardly socialise when I find myself in a new environment,what people mostly term in Ghana as "anti-so"(someone who hardly socialises in a public space). Well, my

Choleric- Melancholic temperament blend may play a role in this behavioral pattern. Choleric causes me to be cold and independent, whereas melancholy makes me moody, self-centered, and unsociable. I would advice that you learn something on temperaments(if you have not) so that you can be able to understand people and why they act.

Understanding temperaments will also help you to understand yourself and how well to relate with Others.

I worked as a cashier during an internship program in one financial institution. The journey there was worth experiencing, with specific interest in what I'm about to share. I loved the feel of the corporate environment that I had gotten involved in. But I don't think I was well prepared for the pressure and stress that comes with it. My shock was with someone closest.... my supervisor.

Yaw(not real name), though my superior was my favorite person at the workplace. He was bubbly, friendly and a joker. He was basically a sanguine, one who complimented my temperament. I really liked him and he seemed to like me too. I could fall on him when I faced any challenges at work. As for the manager, the least said about him the better. He was too bossy and strict for a leader. LOL.

A time came for me to handle some personal issues, so I asked Yaw for permission which he granted me; since the manager was not around. I was away for two days. When I returned on Monday, the manager invited me to his office. He asked me to explain my two days French leave. And when I told him I sought permission from the supervisor, Yaw was invited in. I smiled in confidence that my rescuer had arrived, as he walked in. Little did I know that I was about to embrace the shock of my life. Yaw looked me in the face with a frown and told the boss that I did not ever ask permission from him, and that he had not granted me permission. He even added some untrue things about me. At this point I was stuck.

Most of us may have practically faced same situation. Painful thing is that I suffered a one week suspension for that. I could not stand but feel depressed and bitter,but for Sunday's sermon which seemed to have been prepared for me. I later realised that his sanguine nature causes him to be a talkative(they lie sometimes), emotionally unstable, and someone who exaggerates. The following week, he was so miserable at the sight of a refreshed me. I just smiled through, while continually greeting him until we were friends again...this time friends with caution. Second lesson, forgive because you too are not perfect. I still wonder why he sold me out like that(perhaps I had offended him with my mood swings or something... who knows?) , but I learnt to put it behind me and forgave him.

NB: * Two-faced people do not really like you like they actually show you. They show you their real feelings when you most need them.

* Always forgive such people in your heart, and show them you bear them no grudges. They will eventually learn how to get at other people's back by your act.

* They have a problem of standing by the side of another with the fear of losing their image, job or another friend. And therefore they may exhibit betrayal just to save themselves from embarrassing situations.

Peter had this problem when he denied Jesus Christ, which he later regretted.

***to be continued

How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your neighborhood, workplace, school, or society?

Read more at: http://www.modernghana.com/news/630632/50/how-i-learnt-to-deal-with-a-two-faced-person-the-h.html

[Sequel to previous part: In the first scenario, I described how an unfaithful lover taught me the valuable lesson of dealing with two-faced persons (people who pretend to like you on the outside, and yet have different motives about you on the inside; mostly negative).

First lesson. Flee! In other words, depart from them. Read on as you discover lesson two.] By nature I am someone who hardly makes friends. However, I can be a good companion until something very bad comes up between us. I am mostly withdrawn and observant. I hardly socialise when I find myself in a new environment,what people mostly term in Ghana as "anti-so"(someone who hardly socialises in a public space). Well, my

Choleric- Melancholic temperament blend may play a role in this behavioral pattern. Choleric causes me to be cold and independent, whereas melancholy makes me moody, self-centered, and unsociable. I would advice that you learn something on temperaments(if you have not) so that you can be able to understand people and why they act.

Understanding temperaments will also help you to understand yourself and how well to relate with Others.

I worked as a cashier during an internship program in one financial institution. The journey there was worth experiencing, with specific interest in what I'm about to share. I loved the feel of the corporate environment that I had gotten involved in. But I don't think I was well prepared for the pressure and stress that comes with it. My shock was with someone closest.... my supervisor.

Yaw(not real name), though my superior was my favorite person at the workplace. He was bubbly, friendly and a joker. He was basically a sanguine, one who complimented my temperament. I really liked him and he seemed to like me too. I could fall on him when I faced any challenges at work. As for the manager, the least said about him the better. He was too bossy and strict for a leader. LOL.

A time came for me to handle some personal issues, so I asked Yaw for permission which he granted me; since the manager was not around. I was away for two days. When I returned on Monday, the manager invited me to his office. He asked me to explain my two days French leave. And when I told him I sought permission from the supervisor, Yaw was invited in. I smiled in confidence that my rescuer had arrived, as he walked in. Little did I know that I was about to embrace the shock of my life. Yaw looked me in the face with a frown and told the boss that I did not ever ask permission from him, and that he had not granted me permission. He even added some untrue things about me. At this point I was stuck.

Most of us may have practically faced same situation. Painful thing is that I suffered a one week suspension for that. I could not stand but feel depressed and bitter,but for Sunday's sermon which seemed to have been prepared for me. I later realised that his sanguine nature causes him to be a talkative(they lie sometimes), emotionally unstable, and someone who exaggerates. The following week, he was so miserable at the sight of a refreshed me. I just smiled through, while continually greeting him until we were friends again...this time friends with caution. Second lesson, forgive because you too are not perfect. I still wonder why he sold me out like that(perhaps I had offended him with my mood swings or something... who knows?) , but I learnt to put it behind me and forgave him.

NB: * Two-faced people do not really like you like they actually show you. They show you their real feelings when you most need them.

* Always forgive such people in your heart, and show them you bear them no grudges. They will eventually learn how to get at other people's back by your act.

* They have a problem of standing by the side of another with the fear of losing their image, job or another friend. And therefore they may exhibit betrayal just to save themselves from embarrassing situations.

Peter had this problem when he denied Jesus Christ, which he later regretted.

***to be continued

How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your neighborhood, workplace, school, or society?

Read more at: http://www.modernghana.com/news/630632/50/how-i-learnt-to-deal-with-a-two-faced-person-the-h.html

[Sequel to previous part: In the first scenario, I described how an unfaithful lover taught me the valuable lesson of dealing with two-faced persons (people who pretend to like you on the outside, and yet have different motives about you on the inside; mostly negative).

First lesson. Flee! In other words, depart from them. Read on as you discover lesson two.] By nature I am someone who hardly makes friends. However, I can be a good companion until something very bad comes up between us. I am mostly withdrawn and observant. I hardly socialise when I find myself in a new environment,what people mostly term in Ghana as "anti-so"(someone who hardly socialises in a public space). Well, my

Choleric- Melancholic temperament blend may play a role in this behavioral pattern. Choleric causes me to be cold and independent, whereas melancholy makes me moody, self-centered, and unsociable. I would advice that you learn something on temperaments(if you have not) so that you can be able to understand people and why they act.

Understanding temperaments will also help you to understand yourself and how well to relate with Others.

I worked as a cashier during an internship program in one financial institution. The journey there was worth experiencing, with specific interest in what I'm about to share. I loved the feel of the corporate environment that I had gotten involved in. But I don't think I was well prepared for the pressure and stress that comes with it. My shock was with someone closest.... my supervisor.

Yaw(not real name), though my superior was my favorite person at the workplace. He was bubbly, friendly and a joker. He was basically a sanguine, one who complimented my temperament. I really liked him and he seemed to like me too. I could fall on him when I faced any challenges at work. As for the manager, the least said about him the better. He was too bossy and strict for a leader. LOL.

A time came for me to handle some personal issues, so I asked Yaw for permission which he granted me; since the manager was not around. I was away for two days. When I returned on Monday, the manager invited me to his office. He asked me to explain my two days French leave. And when I told him I sought permission from the supervisor, Yaw was invited in. I smiled in confidence that my rescuer had arrived, as he walked in. Little did I know that I was about to embrace the shock of my life. Yaw looked me in the face with a frown and told the boss that I did not ever ask permission from him, and that he had not granted me permission. He even added some untrue things about me. At this point I was stuck.

Most of us may have practically faced same situation. Painful thing is that I suffered a one week suspension for that. I could not stand but feel depressed and bitter,but for Sunday's sermon which seemed to have been prepared for me. I later realised that his sanguine nature causes him to be a talkative(they lie sometimes), emotionally unstable, and someone who exaggerates. The following week, he was so miserable at the sight of a refreshed me. I just smiled through, while continually greeting him until we were friends again...this time friends with caution. Second lesson, forgive because you too are not perfect. I still wonder why he sold me out like that(perhaps I had offended him with my mood swings or something... who knows?) , but I learnt to put it behind me and forgave him.

NB: * Two-faced people do not really like you like they actually show you. They show you their real feelings when you most need them.

* Always forgive such people in your heart, and show them you bear them no grudges. They will eventually learn how to get at other people's back by your act.

* They have a problem of standing by the side of another with the fear of losing their image, job or another friend. And therefore they may exhibit betrayal just to save themselves from embarrassing situations.

Peter had this problem when he denied Jesus Christ, which he later regretted.

***to be continued

How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your neighborhood, workplace, school, or society?

Read more at: http://www.modernghana.com/news/630632/50/how-i-learnt-to-deal-with-a-two-faced-person-the-h.html

[Sequel to previous part: In the first scenario, I described how an unfaithful lover taught me the valuable lesson of dealing with two-faced persons (people who pretend to like you on the outside, and yet have different motives about you on the inside; mostly negative).

First lesson. Flee! In other words, depart from them. Read on as you discover lesson two.] By nature I am someone who hardly makes friends. However, I can be a good companion until something very bad comes up between us. I am mostly withdrawn and observant. I hardly socialise when I find myself in a new environment,what people mostly term in Ghana as "anti-so"(someone who hardly socialises in a public space). Well, my

Choleric- Melancholic temperament blend may play a role in this behavioral pattern. Choleric causes me to be cold and independent, whereas melancholy makes me moody, self-centered, and unsociable. I would advice that you learn something on temperaments(if you have not) so that you can be able to understand people and why they act.

Understanding temperaments will also help you to understand yourself and how well to relate with Others.

I worked as a cashier during an internship program in one financial institution. The journey there was worth experiencing, with specific interest in what I'm about to share. I loved the feel of the corporate environment that I had gotten involved in. But I don't think I was well prepared for the pressure and stress that comes with it. My shock was with someone closest.... my supervisor.

Yaw(not real name), though my superior was my favorite person at the workplace. He was bubbly, friendly and a joker. He was basically a sanguine, one who complimented my temperament. I really liked him and he seemed to like me too. I could fall on him when I faced any challenges at work. As for the manager, the least said about him the better. He was too bossy and strict for a leader. LOL.

A time came for me to handle some personal issues, so I asked Yaw for permission which he granted me; since the manager was not around. I was away for two days. When I returned on Monday, the manager invited me to his office. He asked me to explain my two days French leave. And when I told him I sought permission from the supervisor, Yaw was invited in. I smiled in confidence that my rescuer had arrived, as he walked in. Little did I know that I was about to embrace the shock of my life. Yaw looked me in the face with a frown and told the boss that I did not ever ask permission from him, and that he had not granted me permission. He even added some untrue things about me. At this point I was stuck.

Most of us may have practically faced same situation. Painful thing is that I suffered a one week suspension for that. I could not stand but feel depressed and bitter,but for Sunday's sermon which seemed to have been prepared for me. I later realised that his sanguine nature causes him to be a talkative(they lie sometimes), emotionally unstable, and someone who exaggerates. The following week, he was so miserable at the sight of a refreshed me. I just smiled through, while continually greeting him until we were friends again...this time friends with caution. Second lesson, forgive because you too are not perfect. I still wonder why he sold me out like that(perhaps I had offended him with my mood swings or something... who knows?) , but I learnt to put it behind me and forgave him.

NB: * Two-faced people do not really like you like they actually show you. They show you their real feelings when you most need them.

* Always forgive such people in your heart, and show them you bear them no grudges. They will eventually learn how to get at other people's back by your act.

* They have a problem of standing by the side of another with the fear of losing their image, job or another friend. And therefore they may exhibit betrayal just to save themselves from embarrassing situations.

Peter had this problem when he denied Jesus Christ, which he later regretted.

***to be continued

How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your neighborhood, workplace, school, or society?

Read more at: http://www.modernghana.com/news/630632/50/how-i-learnt-to-deal-with-a-two-faced-person-the-h.html

How I Learnt To Deal With A Two-Faced Person The Hard Way (Part 1)

Life has a lot of lessons to learn. That is, if only you are ready to learn as it dishes out different portions of meals for your tasting. Every person you meet in life has a different story to share with you. Not everyone's story is true.
Well, quite a number of them, maybe.
Another rule(conjured by me), not all that smiles is teeth. Dealing with people is one hell of a joke, or rather a delicate issue, to think of. Yh! I bet you agree with this, at least. People can really make you happy the next minute and sad the other. People can cross the road with you. Next minute, they are leaving you to cross alone. We all have our own story to share on this right? Ok, let me share two or three of mine.
First of it was a boyfriend I once had. Well, we were just hitting things to see how it goes. Haha! Trust girls on that. Some guys think they are the only ones good at hitting. Eiiii! Back to main issue: not ready to start another debate. So this guy trusted me. As for me, I trusted him to death. I've never trusted like that before. He told me that I was going to be his last and all of that crap* lovers tell each other when their blood are hot for each other. And to some degree, I believed.
Bottom line, he ended up lying to me. He had a fiance which he told me was a sister. He even at one point broke up with this troublesome fiance in my presence, on phone. Not knowing, it was all fake. When I found out by Intuition, he just couldn't come to bear with fact that I was an emphatic person: someone who feels deeply and senses what goes on around them sharply without being told a thing. He confessed his sins before me and begged that I forgave him, like I was Jesus Christ.Haha! This experience though. (the person might end up reading this). It really shook the feather in me. I could not believe a fellow human could look another in the face and tell such a big fat lie, when in actual sense the person being lied to obviously enjoyed the lie. Oh yeah! I did because I saw signs but then brushed it off.
Charley! two-faced guys are smart dudes oh. The way and manner this fine gentleman cunningly kept me dancing around in his lies and making me feel like the guilty one was CREATIVITY at its best. Don't joke with a guy who has his mind on his target. Maybe I set myself up for this. Maybe I just wanted a feel of Mr. Player(one guy ladies must look out for).
This is how I dealt quickly with the situation, I turned away and never looked back. Why waste time with people who can cripple your emotions at the slightest chance. Whenever faced with situations of this kind, whether from a man or woman, flee!!! Oh yes, that is what the good book teaches believers like me. Flee from the devil (two-faced person), and he shall depart from you! This is not the kind of person you can stick around with the hope that things will change.
Seriously! OK maybe things might just change for the worst.
Points to note!
* a two-faced person pretends to love/like you.
* a cheater(first class) is a sure two-faced.
* a two-faced can't help you complete yourself, rather they tear you apart.
to be continued***
How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your career, relationship, home, neighborhood or society??

SIGNS HE IS CHEATING

If you think your guy’s cheating on you, he probably is.
“The number one sign that someone is cheating on you is your intuition,” says Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., author of The New Monogamy.  “Listen to your gut. It usually will steer you in the right direction.”
However, your gut’s not necessarily foolproof. After all, you might be confusing fear and insecurities for intuition, says Nelson. Not sure which one you’re feeling? Read through this checklist and see if any apply to your current squeeze. While checking off one sign alone isn’t reason to call in the bloodhounds, if you’re noticing that several are in play, you do have cause for some concern, says Rachel Needle, Psy.D., a psychologist with the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida.
1. Your Sex Life Has Radically Changed
While a nonexistent sex life can be a hint of bad things brewing, so are suddenly over-the-top sexcapades. “Yes, sex may have always been good, but now he is flopping you all over the bed and sweat is pouring down his face and he is holding his iPhone over your shoulder to take pictures of your behind in the mirror,” says Nelson. “The erotic charge of sleeping with two people at the same time is also a huge turn-on—one that he might be getting off on at your expense.”
2. He’s Secretive With His Technology
Nothing wrong with wanting some privacy, but there's a difference between that and him keeping all of his electronic devices on lockdown. Never leaving his cell unattended, always taking his phone into the other room to text or to take a call, being unusually silent when receiving a text or call, or otherwise being especially secretive is a bad sign, says psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity. "Most men won't necessarily let you read e-mails or texts, but they won't try to hide them either."
3. His Grooming Habits Have Gotten Way Better
You’ve been on him for months to trim his nose hair, and now he’s trimming not only his nostrils but his man-parts, as well? A dramatic shift in your guy's attention to grooming, clothes, and his fitness habits (is he working out like crazy now?) may indicate that he’s trying to impress another woman, says behavioral scientist and dating expert Christie Hartman, Ph.D., author of Changing Your Game: A Man's Guide to Success with Women.
4. He’s Unavailable All of the Time
While he might legitimately have to work late, the cover-up excuse is cliché for a reason, says Haltzman. It’s an easy way for guys to carve out time to spend with someone on the side. Be leery if he is suddenly (and constantly) coming up with reasons—work-related or otherwise—to leave the house over the weekend or at night, says Needle.
5. Your Bank Account Has Taken a Huge Hit
Financial infidelity can point to sexual infidelity, as well. If you are beginning to notice unexplained charges to a shared credit card or account, it may be a sign that he’s spending money on meals and gifts for another woman, says Haltzman. Keep an eye out for any receipts hanging around his desk or pockets, recommends Hartman.
6. He’s Always on the Defensive
“Does he get overly defensive when you say, ‘Hey, where have you been all night, I tried to reach you?’" asks Nelson. "If he jumps down your throat and tries to explain his absent four hours with blame—‘Why are you always bugging me?’—then you know you are either a) always bugging him, or b) he is doing something he doesn’t want to tell you about and he is using some kind of lame reverse psychology to try and distract you."


SOURCE; Women's Health Magazine

WAYS TO OVERCOME NEGATIVE THINKING

1. Become Conscious of the Things that go Through Your Mind

Don’t become alarmed over the number of negative thoughts that are running through your head. If it happens and you notice it, then let it go and avoid talking about it aloud to colleagues, friends and managers. As well, think of the ways in which you can change your negative thoughts into something positive. For example, you can change “I am not getting any sales today” thought into “The sales environment is challenging but I am up for it.” Give it a try!

 

2. Change the Way you Feel

This is the most difficult part of the process. To unfreeze the feelings you want replaced and refreeze the new ones, begin by visualizing the outcome(s) you desire. The outcome must be real and measurable and something that you can achieve in a decent period of time.

 

3. Take Affirmative Action

If no action is taken, change will never take place. Actively go about your day and apply what you have learned every time there is an opportunity. It will be difficult to do so at beginning, but if you have the perseverance and the strength, you will be able to over come your negative thinking.

 

4. Surround Yourself with Positive People

Call upon a friend or colleague who you know could give you constructive, yet positive feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thoughts. Two negatives, don’t always make a positive.

 

5. Read Positive Quotes

Every Monday, in honour of #MondayMotivation and #MotivationalMondays, I add a post-it note with a positive quote to my board. This board serves as a reminder to me and my colleagues to stay positive, especially during the most pressing times.
Becoming successful in sales is never easy, but everyone has to start somewhere. The first step to sales success is to embrace productivity and realize that the change is for the good. The second and most crucial step to sales success is to invest in the right software that will help you stay motivated  and become an A+ player. Download a free trial of  InfoFlo CRM Tool here.

About The Author Aleksandr Noudelman

Aleksandr Noudelman is an educator, coach and Digital Marketing Manager. Aleksandr enjoys and strives to motivate others to better themselves professionally and on a personal level. Feel free to contact him if you have any questions or would like a specific topic covered.