The Communication and Relationship Factor: Dealing with People

The learning process is an interesting journey to embark on.
When it comes to dealing with people, most of us find it quite difficult. Everyone seems to have their own egoistic nature that they will not allow to be bruised. However like in most games,  there are always winners and losers. Choosing to be a winner or loser in our relationships with people is a personal choice. I mostly hear people say play the fool and let the issues die. I beg to differ. We all have specific attitudes and behaviours that can make a relationship thrive which must not be overlooked.

Know your role

In dealing with people, it is advisable to know what you stand for in their life. If you are the leader, it is good to be firm. Mind you, you are trying to be liked and to be obeyed at the same time. Does that mean you must be a dictator in order to be obeyed? It is key to note that people will get offended no matter how we treat them. That is not to say that we must treat them anyhow anyway. If you know your role as a friend,  family, sister, aunt, teacher, in another person's life, you learn words and actions that can easily communicate to the person. Choose words that do not easily offend the person's personality. Applaud and rebuke, but in a way that resonates your exact sentiments to the person without them feeling offended.

Respect other's views

In as much as we all share different opinions in life, it is important to listen  and understand before we communicate. I find it very unapologetic when people refuse to listen and later give bad judgment of a situation. I bet this is not taught in most of our classrooms. However,  any good communication book will teach you the importance of listening and understanding before communicating . After listening, it helps you understand the angle from which the other party is coming from. This way, we are able to give a good if not better response. Never rubbish another person's view on a situation just because you disagree.

Speak with empathy

How does it feel when after telling someone your situation the person speaks to you with so much concern and love? That is exactly what empathy seeks to achieve. You are able to connect with someone's opinion, be in their shoes, and communicate well in relation to their very self. Once you begin to attack another without truly understanding them, you open yourself to disagreements.

Be soft and firm

The truth is that not all persons can handle being treated with persuasion, sometimes it is good to be firm for others to get the message. In the bid to be firm and frank, we also do not want to appear difficult, tough or controversial (some terms given to firm people). In this way, we can communicate firmness and softness in a way that resonates true concerns, with words that will not be misunderstood or misconstrued. Literally, what this means is let your yes be yes, and your no be no.

The focus of this is to try as much as possible not to step on so many toes while dealing with people in our everyday lives. Do share how best you communicate with people with us. The aim is to be able to win more friends and influence more people rather than more enemies or ill wishers.

Do Men Fear to Approach High Maintenance Women?

It recently struck me that most women are falling short of men in their lives.  This observation  is based on a little of my experience and experiences of other women in my life.  Now let's shift our focus first to who a high maintenance woman is.

She is one that has empowered herself to do more. She is a well groomed person who knows which colors and pieces to combine when it comes to clothing. She likes to look good and guess what? When you're with her you look good too. She is one who is confident, outspoken, and not easily intimidated. She is knowledgeable and holds a good conversation anytime anywhere. Sometimes, she may own her own company or be doing very well in her field of endeavor. As the name goes, she requires that she well taken care of in order to be maintained. In all, she is fun to be with.

My friends and I mostly talk about relationships among other interesting subject matters. And anytime we hold such conversations they never said anything good about men in general. That aside,  Esi, who is the most high maintenance amongst us revealed that men of our time like women who they can easily manipulate to do their will without questioning. All of us could not agree less. But the question was why is that?

That is not to say there are no men who like this category of women. But the question is how many do? Perhaps our men have a problem with confidence in themselves. Better still, it may be the issue of taking good care of these type of women. Alex my friend confirmed my thoughts when he told me that the way he sees me if I do not hurry and get married,  soon men will not approach me anymore. His reason for saying that was simple, because I know too much and that could scare the men away. Did that mean that men wanted stupid women?

That conversation left me thinking. Here I was, thinking that our men rather loved to be around women who could bring ideas on board. A week after conversing with Alex,  another guy came up with the same talk when my cousin jokingly called him her new boyfriend. You should have seen how he screamed. He mentioned that he cannot handle her as a girlfriend because he may not be able to make her happy. Asked why he said that? He confessed that women like her are hard to please because they put in a lot of energy in looking healthy and beautiful. I only shook my head in disbelief.

The fear of most women now is whether or not to look or feel good, or to pursue higher heights since the men are not forthcoming. I write this because of such women and also to the men out there. Sisters, it is a good thing to build yourself up. It is a good thing to always look your best. This should not be because you want to actually attract a man. Basically, it is to make you happy with or without a man. To the men, such women are really not difficult to please. You just have to be a full blown highly responsible man to match up to their needs as women. Not all of such women are spend rifts, disrespectful, impolite and promiscuous as most of you think. They are simply ladies who have learned to carry themselves with the respect in their society.

That brings us to the story about Priscilla. She used to be so much into fashion. Her fashion sense was 'wow'. Make up on point. Clothing on point. Bags and shoes on point. Accessories on point. Intelligence spectacular. She only had one issue and that was finding love. Someone then advised her to tone down her dressing and also not engage in so much intelligent conversations when talking to men. She obeyed and found love. She got married and her husband started following intelligent well groomed(high maintenance) young women.

Priscilla is currently divorced and living her life happily as a single. She had to learn the hard way that being herself would have been better. It could have won her the right person that matched her personality. So back to the question, do Ghanaian men fear to approach high maintenance women? Share your thoughts to help a woman unravel a mystery.

Justica Anima (all social networks)
Adjeianima@gmail.com

Are Women the Weaker Sex?

"The more women know about business, money and finance, the greater freedom they will enjoy and the more likely they will be to discover their own power." - Robert T. Kiyosaki, International Bestseller of Rich Dad Poor Dad.

We often hear stories of women whose husbands left them for another. We also hear of women abuse in our societies, either physical or emotional. Most often, these women do not leave when these harsh conditions are meted out to them and so they are termed weak. Women have a weak physical outlook, are mostly soft-hearted, kind, and caring in nature. However, these qualities cannot be used to draw conclusions that women are weak.

Women contribution in world dominance cannot be overlooked. They play a key role in bringing humanity into existence through childbirth. Also, they act as good managers starting from the home. Women are also great with sales and marketing as they have tolerance and patience with every kind of customer they meet. They exude peace and promote profitability at the workplace.

Go to our schools today and analyse for yourselves. It is of no doubt that our girls are taking the top scores in the classroom. Girls exhibit diligence and smartness towards learning as compared to the boys. It is only saddening that along the line, these smart individuals are brainwashed with the idea that it is a man's world. Due to this, women grow up thinking various sectors in the job market are men's domain.

Going back to the olden days, women were those who began trade and business. When men went to hunt and farm, it was women who sold the proceeds in order to generate income for the family. As agriculture gradually made way for industrialisation, men adopted these skills of their women. It is not surprising that today men run businesses and politics to somehow the disadvantage of women.

In recent times, women are taking up managing businesses, attaining higher education, and running parliament and law firms alongside their male counterparts. In fact, they are doing so well in these areas. In view of this, celebrating women excellence should be encouraged in order to draw more of them into these areas. Women today are liberating themselves from the idea that they are the weaker ones, and that they cannot thrive in a man's world.

Truth is, the battle of whether or not women are the weaker sex lies not in muscles or physical strength. Rather, it lies in mental power, emotional strength, and general wellbeing of both sexes in all aspects of life. Societies which blend both men and women's strength are those that will thrive.

As we celebrate International Women's day, I take the opportunity to salute all the strong women rubbing shoulders with men in every dispensation. More and more women must join forces to bring their ideas on the table. Perhaps, women taking up governmental roles will help curb the many problems that the world is facing today. Let us help build a strong force as women and never be stopped in our tracks while pursuing the higher calling on our lives. Let us free ourselves from depending on our men so much that we lose sight of the many strengths that lie within us.

Are women really the weaker sex? What is your take on women's impact on society? How has a woman played key role in your development as an individual? Let's get interactive on these questions wherever we find ourselves. 

Justica Anima (on all on social media networks)
Email: switstica@gmail.com
Blog: switstica.blogspot.com

Tell me About 59 Years Old Ghana.

"Our independence is meaningless unless it is linked to the total liberation of Africa" -Dr. Kwame Nkrumah, Ghana's first President.

It is a good thing to be independent, if you ask me. It is not by mere coincidence that a country gains total control of its own affairs at an early stage. Well, for me independence means a lot more than just not being under the control of another nation. It is a life long journey with a million stories.

The problem about us as a people is that we refuse to free our minds just as I am about to do, yet we claim to be "bold to defend forever the cause of freedom and of rights". I will not hesitate to applaud our forefathers, especially the Big Six, for their great achievements and heroic acts towards building this nation. They did all they could to make sure we could man our own affairs. The baton has since been passed and here we are, 59 years and still counting.

The stench at the Makola market sings "happy birthday to you Ghana". The trotro mate greets you, "yeees! Front" literally scaring its occupants, and reminding you not to look back. The hawkers on our streets sell their wares to you, Ghana, by crying out, "yeees! Pure water, Yoghurt, Tampico, Fan Ice, P.K, Mentos, meat pieeee!". Traders run helter skelter with their wares in a bid to escape the wrath of A.M.A task force(Abaye). 59 years old Ghana wakes up not to alarm clocks but to the harsh beatings on the shoe maker's box and the cries of, "hwan na etwe3 ?", translated as, "whose turn is it to scrub?". 

School children sing in chorus, "...Feel our hearts with true humi-li-ty, make us cheerlish, fearest, honestly..." With what meaning can the average Ghanaian school child attach to its National Anthem? Something we claim to have taught them in our schools. The minimum wage a worker takes is 120 Ghana cedis. Will you take that amount at 59 years old? After having to work for 30 days or more and this could be your take home salary. What will you buy with it? In a sudden speed, transportation fares have taken a full fly and citizens pay silently in pain out of their meagre salaries and income.

Ask me about 59 years and I will only assume it is a time for rest and a time void of stress. A time when your money works for you and your children cater for your needs.  The children you took time to bring up, and not shirk your responsibilities from. A period of enjoying the fruits of your labour. But no! The only fruits to be enjoyed here is that of freedom to move about freely and say anything freely. Yes! freedom like the madman roaming aimlessly in the streets, graduates lying lazily in their beds and of "dead goats living"  unconcerned lives.

Is that all there is to say about Ghana? Oh! Lest I forget. We are enjoying less than 3% of proceeds from our mining sector and importing tilapia when we are surrounded by sea and rivers everywhere. We almost import everything and export chocolate wrapped in paper and foil since the day of Tetteh Quarshie's discovery of the cocoa seeds. Is this the Liberation our father of Independence was referring to?

And to think that Yaa Asantewaa may have left some of her courage in Ghanaian "queens", women of our time are rather "queens" of America. Buying the hair, eyelashes, hips, lips, nails, and waists of the western world. Call it globalisation and Yaa Asantewaa will sneeze in her grave. Ashamed of their "kpenkpeshi"(kinky) sun-silk hair. And even more so, afraid to rise up and proclaim, "Where are the brave men of yesterday? If you men will not fight, we the women will". Women of our time cannot even boast of independence from their men amidst all the feminism advocacy.

59 years old Ghana has a lot to boast of, yet a lot more to achieve. We have too many literates in this nation to be hungry and poor. Our thinking caps must not fail us. Our universities are part of the best in Africa.  We have all the natural resources and the able bodied men that the world can boast of. We have one of the best airports in Africa. And our streets are void of attacks by armed men. We can do more. Yes we can!

If the saying that "life begins at 40" is true, then that can be said about us. Five decades and on, we are still and remarkably the Gateway to Africa. Our nation is blessed and so are its inhabitants. Let's pick up hoes and cutlasses. Let's dig deeper and deeper. Let's mine our remaining minerals and hide it away from the thieves. For in some years to come, we may need a treasure to hold on to and to pass on to the next generation. Let us go back and rewrite the story of Africa for in so doing we shall possess our birthright as Ghanaians. Let us not yet sell it for a box of pizza when our delicious banku and okro stew lie in wait.

Long live Osagyefo's Ghana. Best regards to the great men and women of old and present who sweat it out for the nation. Your efforts will remain in the records of workmanship and sacrifice. Now back to the issue, tell me about 59 years old Ghana because stories of old are best told by the grey-haired.

switstica@gmail.com

A Child From My Country: Realities of the Ghanaian Child

In the country where I come from, everything is either taken too seriously or as a joke. I do not know from which angle this piece of writing will be tackled from. I lie on my bed at 11.40, thinking to myself what would have become of me if I was born in a different setting or location or country. Whenever you go through the the hall of fame for greatness, it is mostly ascribed to the older folks from where I come from. A few youngsters are able to make name for themselves, but even with that their names soon vanish into thin air. Children are not mostly accorded that big regard as compared to older people (maybe for a short while,fine).

I recall a time with my mom when I was in primary school. I told her I wanted to publish a book. She just looked at me and smiled, confirming her disbelief. There I was seated, so young and full of ideas but immediately discouraged by my own mother. Many people think when you are young, your place is in school or playing with the other kids. Nothing more, nothing less. Yes, this is the country where I am from. A place where a child does not talk back when adults are talking. Neither does a child suggest things to their parents. They are considered too young, lacking of wisdom and expertise.

For this and many other reasons, a child who does well is highly overrated and over hyped. Making it look like children's achievements are a big deal. Meanwhile children from other diaspora are given all the needed support and so their achievements do not seem so much overwhelming. They build tech devices, learn many languages, play mega musical instruments, program softwares, build robots and solve difficult and challenging problems. And what do children in my country do? Watch television, play video games, eat Indomie, sleep...

Children grow by observation. Also, from a little experience with them, I have realised that the foundation a child grows on builds him or her for their future. Children raised up in a free learning environment tend to be more intelligent than the ones who are restricted. My country parents are quick to correction and discipline. They place children in a box where they cannot learn outside from. For instance, a child's curiosity for learning is easily killed by destroying their sense of questioning. A child who always asks questions is quickly discouraged by shutting them up anytime they question a particular situation. Better still, they are answered but not with the right answers.

What then are we teaching our children? What impact can our children have on society? How can we motivate children to do more for themselves? How do we grow a generation of future thinkers and nation builders using tools and recreational avenues that challenge their minds? How can we turn the idea of the child scrap collector to a viable business venture? Or the child who questions a lot? Or the girl child who knows how to dress her doll so well? Or the computer-game child's enthusiasm into computer programming? Ask a child today what he or she wants to do in future and they will mention some funny profession or nothing at all? Confused children, is this the future we are building for our nation?

The average child in my country today is solely dependent on their parents or guardian's direction and orders. What the child chooses as a profession is even chosen for the child. Why are we surprised that we now churn out graduates who are lost in their tracks? This is because we no more encourage initiatives from children, even if we do it is more structural as compared to the ones being run on our television stations. Our school system even make matters worse. Measuring the quality of a child by the marks scored is not the way forward. Rather encouraging each child according to their unique strength or weakness is.

Encourage a child to grow. Applaud a child by their little works. Let's allow them to play, learn, question and explore their world. Let's give them measures and discipline but not to the extent that it halts their learning process. The society must be child friendly amidst the disciplinary measures set while raising them up. Our nation's policies must be child friendly as well. Let's make growing up a haven for children not hell. 12.41am now, calculate how long it took me to put just this together. Perhaps I would have been better than this, who knows?

5 Things You Need To Focus on Your Writing

If you’re struggling to finish all of your writing projects, you’re not alone. I almost always get questions about how I focus long enough to actually accomplish all of the writing I need to get done. So for the sake of all our writing careers, I’m going to try to answer that in today’s post.

1. You Need Real Paper

Computers are incredible. They have made our lives so much easier, but I when it comes to focusing, paper is necessary.
When we write, our minds have a million thoughts running through them. How do I want to organize this chapter? What are my main points? Have I already introduced this character? I’ve found that real paper and pen gives me more power to answer all these questions and allows me to better focus on the writing when I do turn to my laptop.
Oh, and paper is important for doodling.

2. You Need Time

The best way to focus is to give yourself a lot of time. My favorite article about this is written by Cal Newport, which explains the concept of
Deep Work . There is a great benefit to taking two or three hours with zero distractions to get work done.
We focus best when we know we have an entire morning or afternoon to dive into a project. When you write, you delve into another world. You need an extended period of time to refresh yourself with where you left off and where you want to go.

3. You Need Deadlines

Deadlines and I have a serious love/hate relationship. Without them, I get nothing done, but with them, I’m often miserable. However, at the end of the day I need to pay rent and buy food, so deadlines it is.
Don’t just set deadlines for weeks and months in advance, set deadlines for what you will accomplish before lunch. You will focus better knowing exactly what you need to do before you get out of your chair.

4. You Need a Pattern

Before I established a pattern in my writing life I was lucky to roll out of bed before 10 am. I worked when I felt like it and didn’t accomplish a lot. But when I did finally establish a pattern, my whole writing life changed.
Establishing a pattern will help you write more consistently. There’s even research that proves famous writers’ sleeping habits lead to productivity and more focus. (I’m in.) Either way, we are creatures of habit and focus when we are consistent in our lives.

5. You Need a Place

You’re a creative, which means sitting in a cubicle will probably kill you. I wrote a post a while back about the importance of finding your place to write. Finding a place you know you can focus is the key to getting the writing done.
Focusing Takes Practice
Although I always picture myself typing away furiously, crafting word after word into beautiful sentences, it never looks like that. About sixty percent of my time is spent staring out windows, counting the clouds, and wondering if these books will write themselves.

Source: The Write Practice

Understanding Love From the Feminine Side

Love and relationships can be a thing of fun. When you meet the one, your world becomes full of fantasies and happiness. That man or woman becomes the first thing you think about in the morning, and the last in the evening. Women tend to be more emotional inwardly and outwardly when hit by love.

Attention seeking

Women love differently from men. They are more soft and attention seeking. When a woman is in love she wants to know that her man
shifts enough attention to her needs and being. She observes with skepticism how he treats her, the time he devotes to her and the manner in which he upholds her either in private or in public. When the attention is drifted from her unto other areas of his life, the woman bottles in and does not give her all in the relationship. Lack of attention serves as a warning signal for most women.

Cuddling

Women love to be cuddled and in turn they will cuddle back. A woman who is in love loves to be in her man’s arms and on his chest, to be kissed on her forehead, whiles his hands run through her hair, at their lone moments. In public she will prefer to be held close or hand in hand. This is a prove of love for most women. Sadly only few gentlemen can handle this truth.

Respect

Every loved woman learns to be respectful to her man. She forgoes all pride and confidence and relates with respect as she would with her dad. In turn, she demands to be treated with respect. By so doing, her man must respect her time, family, career, personality, and even her sexuality. When the respect is lacking, a woman will easily flee to a safe side. Abusive men are red flags!

Care giving

Every true woman knows the essence of being well taken care of by her man. Relationship experts have actually denounced the notion that women who expect gifts and money from their men are “gold diggers”. It is only weaker men who enter a love train and expect to do nothing for their women. Women appreciate the art of gifts, surprises, dinners and being well taken care of. This gears them up to do even more for their men.

Sex

Women by their nature are not easily sex driven unlike their male counterparts. However, if there should be the act of sex, women attach a lot of meaning to a good one. Where good sex means enough romance, foreplay and good riding. Nothing leaves an indelible mark in the minds of women like a wonderful sex with the man of their lives. So if you will succeed with your woman, you must get to her heart not only by words but by the physical connection that bonds lovers together the most, sex.

This should help you guys, and ladies stop worrying your heads over nothing. You are just perfect and these qualities are just normal. Happy relationship.!

Justica Anima

SALON WAHALA: What Most Women Experience

So your hair is messed up and you need a little fix up, wash through and hair-do right? Your next point of call is the hair salon: a place where you can get your hair made, meet other women, perhaps gossip or be that silent listener. Every woman has their own salon experience. Imagine how boring a salon will be if there wasn't a bit of every female personality in there. There is always the initiator, the seconder, the defendant, the contributor, and the silent listener. Oh yes! You can relate right?
Now, the initiator here is the one who introduces the topic for discussion. This person brings on board issues concerning various topics on relationship, business, marriage, money, politics, and what have you. Her conversion mostly begins like this, "Off late, if you are a woman and you don't look good, another woman will do so and snatch your husband or boyfriend from you oh my sister."

The seconder is always in agreement with the initiator and she may respond in this manner, "Eiii sister! It's very true oo, a friend of mine is facing that problem in her relationship. I tell you, it's very frustrating ooo." At this moment, the defendant quickly interrupts and goes like, "My sisters that is not always the case. If your man loves you, no one can take him from you. If you look good and you don't treat him well in other areas, won't he still leave you?" The defendant now opens room for further debate and counter opinions from the contributors. Every person tells their story or bring their views on board.

The discussion becomes more and more interesting and educative.
All this while, there will be one or more persons who will never say anything but will listen with close attention; and perhaps give a nod in agreement or just smile at some remarks. Women are natural talkers and so when they meet, they easily bond and share extensive ideas on issues. Some build contacts and friendships in the salon. Others come to stir up fights with their rivals, or in other instances their husband or boyfriend snatchers.
One of such incident unfolded at a salon I once visited in town. The wife in question sent an apprentice to call her husband snatcher(h.s for short) to meet her outside. As soon  as the h.s came outside, she received two heavy slaps before any explanation. This resulted in a fight. As they were being separated, the wife now hurled insults on her h.s. "Folish woman, go get yours and stop chasing after people's husbands. May God punish you because you are the reason my husband no more pays attention to his family." Instead of the h.s
keeping mute she replied, "Aboaa! If you were able to satisfy the needs of your man, will he come to me?"

This and many other saddening incidents happen at the salon. I know you have more running through your mind right now. I am happy to have refreshed your memory. Some women also find themselves in trouble after gossiping about someone at the salon. Sometimes you never know the next person seated near you. And while you happily let out all that is in your heart, it is advisable to keep it safe from future troubles. So whichever person you are on the afore mentioned list, make sure your silence or contributions is void of gossip, slander, or personal secrets. Let's have fun at the salon but be careful while at it. Do you have a memorable salon experience? Do share or comment below.

How I Learnt To Deal With A Two-faced Person The Hard Way (Part 2)

[Sequel to previous part: In the first scenario, I described how an unfaithful lover taught me the valuable lesson of dealing with two-faced persons (people who pretend to like you on the outside, and yet have different motives about you on the inside; mostly negative).
First lesson. Flee! In other words, depart from them. Read on as you discover lesson two.] By nature I am someone who hardly makes friends. However, I can be a good companion until something very bad comes up between us. I am mostly withdrawn and observant. I hardly socialise when I find myself in a new environment,what people mostly term in Ghana as "anti-so"(someone who hardly socialises in a public space). Well, my
Choleric- Melancholic temperament blend may play a role in this behavioral pattern. Choleric causes me to be cold and independent, whereas melancholy makes me moody, self-centered, and unsociable. I would advice that you learn something on temperaments(if you have not) so that you can be able to understand people and why they act.
Understanding temperaments will also help you to understand yourself and how well to relate with Others.
I worked as a cashier during an internship program in one financial institution. The journey there was worth experiencing, with specific interest in what I'm about to share. I loved the feel of the corporate environment that I had gotten involved in. But I don't think I was well prepared for the pressure and stress that comes with it. My shock was with someone closest.... my supervisor.
Yaw(not real name), though my superior was my favorite person at the workplace. He was bubbly, friendly and a joker. He was basically a sanguine, one who complimented my temperament. I really liked him and he seemed to like me too. I could fall on him when I faced any challenges at work. As for the manager, the least said about him the better. He was too bossy and strict for a leader. LOL.
A time came for me to handle some personal issues, so I asked Yaw for permission which he granted me; since the manager was not around. I was away for two days. When I returned on Monday, the manager invited me to his office. He asked me to explain my two days French leave. And when I told him I sought permission from the supervisor, Yaw was invited in. I smiled in confidence that my rescuer had arrived, as he walked in. Little did I know that I was about to embrace the shock of my life. Yaw looked me in the face with a frown and told the boss that I did not ever ask permission from him, and that he had not granted me permission. He even added some untrue things about me. At this point I was stuck.
Most of us may have practically faced same situation. Painful thing is that I suffered a one week suspension for that. I could not stand but feel depressed and bitter,but for Sunday's sermon which seemed to have been prepared for me. I later realised that his sanguine nature causes him to be a talkative(they lie sometimes), emotionally unstable, and someone who exaggerates. The following week, he was so miserable at the sight of a refreshed me. I just smiled through, while continually greeting him until we were friends again...this time friends with caution. Second lesson, forgive because you too are not perfect. I still wonder why he sold me out like that(perhaps I had offended him with my mood swings or something... who knows?) , but I learnt to put it behind me and forgave him.
NB: * Two-faced people do not really like you like they actually show you. They show you their real feelings when you most need them.
* Always forgive such people in your heart, and show them you bear them no grudges. They will eventually learn how to get at other people's back by your act.
* They have a problem of standing by the side of another with the fear of losing their image, job or another friend. And therefore they may exhibit betrayal just to save themselves from embarrassing situations.
Peter had this problem when he denied Jesus Christ, which he later regretted.
***to be continued
How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your neighborhood, workplace, school, or society?

[Sequel to previous part: In the first scenario, I described how an unfaithful lover taught me the valuable lesson of dealing with two-faced persons (people who pretend to like you on the outside, and yet have different motives about you on the inside; mostly negative).

First lesson. Flee! In other words, depart from them. Read on as you discover lesson two.] By nature I am someone who hardly makes friends. However, I can be a good companion until something very bad comes up between us. I am mostly withdrawn and observant. I hardly socialise when I find myself in a new environment,what people mostly term in Ghana as "anti-so"(someone who hardly socialises in a public space). Well, my

Choleric- Melancholic temperament blend may play a role in this behavioral pattern. Choleric causes me to be cold and independent, whereas melancholy makes me moody, self-centered, and unsociable. I would advice that you learn something on temperaments(if you have not) so that you can be able to understand people and why they act.

Understanding temperaments will also help you to understand yourself and how well to relate with Others.

I worked as a cashier during an internship program in one financial institution. The journey there was worth experiencing, with specific interest in what I'm about to share. I loved the feel of the corporate environment that I had gotten involved in. But I don't think I was well prepared for the pressure and stress that comes with it. My shock was with someone closest.... my supervisor.

Yaw(not real name), though my superior was my favorite person at the workplace. He was bubbly, friendly and a joker. He was basically a sanguine, one who complimented my temperament. I really liked him and he seemed to like me too. I could fall on him when I faced any challenges at work. As for the manager, the least said about him the better. He was too bossy and strict for a leader. LOL.

A time came for me to handle some personal issues, so I asked Yaw for permission which he granted me; since the manager was not around. I was away for two days. When I returned on Monday, the manager invited me to his office. He asked me to explain my two days French leave. And when I told him I sought permission from the supervisor, Yaw was invited in. I smiled in confidence that my rescuer had arrived, as he walked in. Little did I know that I was about to embrace the shock of my life. Yaw looked me in the face with a frown and told the boss that I did not ever ask permission from him, and that he had not granted me permission. He even added some untrue things about me. At this point I was stuck.

Most of us may have practically faced same situation. Painful thing is that I suffered a one week suspension for that. I could not stand but feel depressed and bitter,but for Sunday's sermon which seemed to have been prepared for me. I later realised that his sanguine nature causes him to be a talkative(they lie sometimes), emotionally unstable, and someone who exaggerates. The following week, he was so miserable at the sight of a refreshed me. I just smiled through, while continually greeting him until we were friends again...this time friends with caution. Second lesson, forgive because you too are not perfect. I still wonder why he sold me out like that(perhaps I had offended him with my mood swings or something... who knows?) , but I learnt to put it behind me and forgave him.

NB: * Two-faced people do not really like you like they actually show you. They show you their real feelings when you most need them.

* Always forgive such people in your heart, and show them you bear them no grudges. They will eventually learn how to get at other people's back by your act.

* They have a problem of standing by the side of another with the fear of losing their image, job or another friend. And therefore they may exhibit betrayal just to save themselves from embarrassing situations.

Peter had this problem when he denied Jesus Christ, which he later regretted.

***to be continued

How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your neighborhood, workplace, school, or society?

Read more at: http://www.modernghana.com/news/630632/50/how-i-learnt-to-deal-with-a-two-faced-person-the-h.html

[Sequel to previous part: In the first scenario, I described how an unfaithful lover taught me the valuable lesson of dealing with two-faced persons (people who pretend to like you on the outside, and yet have different motives about you on the inside; mostly negative).

First lesson. Flee! In other words, depart from them. Read on as you discover lesson two.] By nature I am someone who hardly makes friends. However, I can be a good companion until something very bad comes up between us. I am mostly withdrawn and observant. I hardly socialise when I find myself in a new environment,what people mostly term in Ghana as "anti-so"(someone who hardly socialises in a public space). Well, my

Choleric- Melancholic temperament blend may play a role in this behavioral pattern. Choleric causes me to be cold and independent, whereas melancholy makes me moody, self-centered, and unsociable. I would advice that you learn something on temperaments(if you have not) so that you can be able to understand people and why they act.

Understanding temperaments will also help you to understand yourself and how well to relate with Others.

I worked as a cashier during an internship program in one financial institution. The journey there was worth experiencing, with specific interest in what I'm about to share. I loved the feel of the corporate environment that I had gotten involved in. But I don't think I was well prepared for the pressure and stress that comes with it. My shock was with someone closest.... my supervisor.

Yaw(not real name), though my superior was my favorite person at the workplace. He was bubbly, friendly and a joker. He was basically a sanguine, one who complimented my temperament. I really liked him and he seemed to like me too. I could fall on him when I faced any challenges at work. As for the manager, the least said about him the better. He was too bossy and strict for a leader. LOL.

A time came for me to handle some personal issues, so I asked Yaw for permission which he granted me; since the manager was not around. I was away for two days. When I returned on Monday, the manager invited me to his office. He asked me to explain my two days French leave. And when I told him I sought permission from the supervisor, Yaw was invited in. I smiled in confidence that my rescuer had arrived, as he walked in. Little did I know that I was about to embrace the shock of my life. Yaw looked me in the face with a frown and told the boss that I did not ever ask permission from him, and that he had not granted me permission. He even added some untrue things about me. At this point I was stuck.

Most of us may have practically faced same situation. Painful thing is that I suffered a one week suspension for that. I could not stand but feel depressed and bitter,but for Sunday's sermon which seemed to have been prepared for me. I later realised that his sanguine nature causes him to be a talkative(they lie sometimes), emotionally unstable, and someone who exaggerates. The following week, he was so miserable at the sight of a refreshed me. I just smiled through, while continually greeting him until we were friends again...this time friends with caution. Second lesson, forgive because you too are not perfect. I still wonder why he sold me out like that(perhaps I had offended him with my mood swings or something... who knows?) , but I learnt to put it behind me and forgave him.

NB: * Two-faced people do not really like you like they actually show you. They show you their real feelings when you most need them.

* Always forgive such people in your heart, and show them you bear them no grudges. They will eventually learn how to get at other people's back by your act.

* They have a problem of standing by the side of another with the fear of losing their image, job or another friend. And therefore they may exhibit betrayal just to save themselves from embarrassing situations.

Peter had this problem when he denied Jesus Christ, which he later regretted.

***to be continued

How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your neighborhood, workplace, school, or society?

Read more at: http://www.modernghana.com/news/630632/50/how-i-learnt-to-deal-with-a-two-faced-person-the-h.html

[Sequel to previous part: In the first scenario, I described how an unfaithful lover taught me the valuable lesson of dealing with two-faced persons (people who pretend to like you on the outside, and yet have different motives about you on the inside; mostly negative).

First lesson. Flee! In other words, depart from them. Read on as you discover lesson two.] By nature I am someone who hardly makes friends. However, I can be a good companion until something very bad comes up between us. I am mostly withdrawn and observant. I hardly socialise when I find myself in a new environment,what people mostly term in Ghana as "anti-so"(someone who hardly socialises in a public space). Well, my

Choleric- Melancholic temperament blend may play a role in this behavioral pattern. Choleric causes me to be cold and independent, whereas melancholy makes me moody, self-centered, and unsociable. I would advice that you learn something on temperaments(if you have not) so that you can be able to understand people and why they act.

Understanding temperaments will also help you to understand yourself and how well to relate with Others.

I worked as a cashier during an internship program in one financial institution. The journey there was worth experiencing, with specific interest in what I'm about to share. I loved the feel of the corporate environment that I had gotten involved in. But I don't think I was well prepared for the pressure and stress that comes with it. My shock was with someone closest.... my supervisor.

Yaw(not real name), though my superior was my favorite person at the workplace. He was bubbly, friendly and a joker. He was basically a sanguine, one who complimented my temperament. I really liked him and he seemed to like me too. I could fall on him when I faced any challenges at work. As for the manager, the least said about him the better. He was too bossy and strict for a leader. LOL.

A time came for me to handle some personal issues, so I asked Yaw for permission which he granted me; since the manager was not around. I was away for two days. When I returned on Monday, the manager invited me to his office. He asked me to explain my two days French leave. And when I told him I sought permission from the supervisor, Yaw was invited in. I smiled in confidence that my rescuer had arrived, as he walked in. Little did I know that I was about to embrace the shock of my life. Yaw looked me in the face with a frown and told the boss that I did not ever ask permission from him, and that he had not granted me permission. He even added some untrue things about me. At this point I was stuck.

Most of us may have practically faced same situation. Painful thing is that I suffered a one week suspension for that. I could not stand but feel depressed and bitter,but for Sunday's sermon which seemed to have been prepared for me. I later realised that his sanguine nature causes him to be a talkative(they lie sometimes), emotionally unstable, and someone who exaggerates. The following week, he was so miserable at the sight of a refreshed me. I just smiled through, while continually greeting him until we were friends again...this time friends with caution. Second lesson, forgive because you too are not perfect. I still wonder why he sold me out like that(perhaps I had offended him with my mood swings or something... who knows?) , but I learnt to put it behind me and forgave him.

NB: * Two-faced people do not really like you like they actually show you. They show you their real feelings when you most need them.

* Always forgive such people in your heart, and show them you bear them no grudges. They will eventually learn how to get at other people's back by your act.

* They have a problem of standing by the side of another with the fear of losing their image, job or another friend. And therefore they may exhibit betrayal just to save themselves from embarrassing situations.

Peter had this problem when he denied Jesus Christ, which he later regretted.

***to be continued

How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your neighborhood, workplace, school, or society?

Read more at: http://www.modernghana.com/news/630632/50/how-i-learnt-to-deal-with-a-two-faced-person-the-h.html

[Sequel to previous part: In the first scenario, I described how an unfaithful lover taught me the valuable lesson of dealing with two-faced persons (people who pretend to like you on the outside, and yet have different motives about you on the inside; mostly negative).

First lesson. Flee! In other words, depart from them. Read on as you discover lesson two.] By nature I am someone who hardly makes friends. However, I can be a good companion until something very bad comes up between us. I am mostly withdrawn and observant. I hardly socialise when I find myself in a new environment,what people mostly term in Ghana as "anti-so"(someone who hardly socialises in a public space). Well, my

Choleric- Melancholic temperament blend may play a role in this behavioral pattern. Choleric causes me to be cold and independent, whereas melancholy makes me moody, self-centered, and unsociable. I would advice that you learn something on temperaments(if you have not) so that you can be able to understand people and why they act.

Understanding temperaments will also help you to understand yourself and how well to relate with Others.

I worked as a cashier during an internship program in one financial institution. The journey there was worth experiencing, with specific interest in what I'm about to share. I loved the feel of the corporate environment that I had gotten involved in. But I don't think I was well prepared for the pressure and stress that comes with it. My shock was with someone closest.... my supervisor.

Yaw(not real name), though my superior was my favorite person at the workplace. He was bubbly, friendly and a joker. He was basically a sanguine, one who complimented my temperament. I really liked him and he seemed to like me too. I could fall on him when I faced any challenges at work. As for the manager, the least said about him the better. He was too bossy and strict for a leader. LOL.

A time came for me to handle some personal issues, so I asked Yaw for permission which he granted me; since the manager was not around. I was away for two days. When I returned on Monday, the manager invited me to his office. He asked me to explain my two days French leave. And when I told him I sought permission from the supervisor, Yaw was invited in. I smiled in confidence that my rescuer had arrived, as he walked in. Little did I know that I was about to embrace the shock of my life. Yaw looked me in the face with a frown and told the boss that I did not ever ask permission from him, and that he had not granted me permission. He even added some untrue things about me. At this point I was stuck.

Most of us may have practically faced same situation. Painful thing is that I suffered a one week suspension for that. I could not stand but feel depressed and bitter,but for Sunday's sermon which seemed to have been prepared for me. I later realised that his sanguine nature causes him to be a talkative(they lie sometimes), emotionally unstable, and someone who exaggerates. The following week, he was so miserable at the sight of a refreshed me. I just smiled through, while continually greeting him until we were friends again...this time friends with caution. Second lesson, forgive because you too are not perfect. I still wonder why he sold me out like that(perhaps I had offended him with my mood swings or something... who knows?) , but I learnt to put it behind me and forgave him.

NB: * Two-faced people do not really like you like they actually show you. They show you their real feelings when you most need them.

* Always forgive such people in your heart, and show them you bear them no grudges. They will eventually learn how to get at other people's back by your act.

* They have a problem of standing by the side of another with the fear of losing their image, job or another friend. And therefore they may exhibit betrayal just to save themselves from embarrassing situations.

Peter had this problem when he denied Jesus Christ, which he later regretted.

***to be continued

How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your neighborhood, workplace, school, or society?

Read more at: http://www.modernghana.com/news/630632/50/how-i-learnt-to-deal-with-a-two-faced-person-the-h.html

How I Learnt To Deal With A Two-Faced Person The Hard Way (Part 1)

Life has a lot of lessons to learn. That is, if only you are ready to learn as it dishes out different portions of meals for your tasting. Every person you meet in life has a different story to share with you. Not everyone's story is true.
Well, quite a number of them, maybe.
Another rule(conjured by me), not all that smiles is teeth. Dealing with people is one hell of a joke, or rather a delicate issue, to think of. Yh! I bet you agree with this, at least. People can really make you happy the next minute and sad the other. People can cross the road with you. Next minute, they are leaving you to cross alone. We all have our own story to share on this right? Ok, let me share two or three of mine.
First of it was a boyfriend I once had. Well, we were just hitting things to see how it goes. Haha! Trust girls on that. Some guys think they are the only ones good at hitting. Eiiii! Back to main issue: not ready to start another debate. So this guy trusted me. As for me, I trusted him to death. I've never trusted like that before. He told me that I was going to be his last and all of that crap* lovers tell each other when their blood are hot for each other. And to some degree, I believed.
Bottom line, he ended up lying to me. He had a fiance which he told me was a sister. He even at one point broke up with this troublesome fiance in my presence, on phone. Not knowing, it was all fake. When I found out by Intuition, he just couldn't come to bear with fact that I was an emphatic person: someone who feels deeply and senses what goes on around them sharply without being told a thing. He confessed his sins before me and begged that I forgave him, like I was Jesus Christ.Haha! This experience though. (the person might end up reading this). It really shook the feather in me. I could not believe a fellow human could look another in the face and tell such a big fat lie, when in actual sense the person being lied to obviously enjoyed the lie. Oh yeah! I did because I saw signs but then brushed it off.
Charley! two-faced guys are smart dudes oh. The way and manner this fine gentleman cunningly kept me dancing around in his lies and making me feel like the guilty one was CREATIVITY at its best. Don't joke with a guy who has his mind on his target. Maybe I set myself up for this. Maybe I just wanted a feel of Mr. Player(one guy ladies must look out for).
This is how I dealt quickly with the situation, I turned away and never looked back. Why waste time with people who can cripple your emotions at the slightest chance. Whenever faced with situations of this kind, whether from a man or woman, flee!!! Oh yes, that is what the good book teaches believers like me. Flee from the devil (two-faced person), and he shall depart from you! This is not the kind of person you can stick around with the hope that things will change.
Seriously! OK maybe things might just change for the worst.
Points to note!
* a two-faced person pretends to love/like you.
* a cheater(first class) is a sure two-faced.
* a two-faced can't help you complete yourself, rather they tear you apart.
to be continued***
How have you too dealt with a two-faced person in your career, relationship, home, neighborhood or society??

SIGNS HE IS CHEATING

If you think your guy’s cheating on you, he probably is.
“The number one sign that someone is cheating on you is your intuition,” says Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., author of The New Monogamy.  “Listen to your gut. It usually will steer you in the right direction.”
However, your gut’s not necessarily foolproof. After all, you might be confusing fear and insecurities for intuition, says Nelson. Not sure which one you’re feeling? Read through this checklist and see if any apply to your current squeeze. While checking off one sign alone isn’t reason to call in the bloodhounds, if you’re noticing that several are in play, you do have cause for some concern, says Rachel Needle, Psy.D., a psychologist with the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida.
1. Your Sex Life Has Radically Changed
While a nonexistent sex life can be a hint of bad things brewing, so are suddenly over-the-top sexcapades. “Yes, sex may have always been good, but now he is flopping you all over the bed and sweat is pouring down his face and he is holding his iPhone over your shoulder to take pictures of your behind in the mirror,” says Nelson. “The erotic charge of sleeping with two people at the same time is also a huge turn-on—one that he might be getting off on at your expense.”
2. He’s Secretive With His Technology
Nothing wrong with wanting some privacy, but there's a difference between that and him keeping all of his electronic devices on lockdown. Never leaving his cell unattended, always taking his phone into the other room to text or to take a call, being unusually silent when receiving a text or call, or otherwise being especially secretive is a bad sign, says psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity. "Most men won't necessarily let you read e-mails or texts, but they won't try to hide them either."
3. His Grooming Habits Have Gotten Way Better
You’ve been on him for months to trim his nose hair, and now he’s trimming not only his nostrils but his man-parts, as well? A dramatic shift in your guy's attention to grooming, clothes, and his fitness habits (is he working out like crazy now?) may indicate that he’s trying to impress another woman, says behavioral scientist and dating expert Christie Hartman, Ph.D., author of Changing Your Game: A Man's Guide to Success with Women.
4. He’s Unavailable All of the Time
While he might legitimately have to work late, the cover-up excuse is cliché for a reason, says Haltzman. It’s an easy way for guys to carve out time to spend with someone on the side. Be leery if he is suddenly (and constantly) coming up with reasons—work-related or otherwise—to leave the house over the weekend or at night, says Needle.
5. Your Bank Account Has Taken a Huge Hit
Financial infidelity can point to sexual infidelity, as well. If you are beginning to notice unexplained charges to a shared credit card or account, it may be a sign that he’s spending money on meals and gifts for another woman, says Haltzman. Keep an eye out for any receipts hanging around his desk or pockets, recommends Hartman.
6. He’s Always on the Defensive
“Does he get overly defensive when you say, ‘Hey, where have you been all night, I tried to reach you?’" asks Nelson. "If he jumps down your throat and tries to explain his absent four hours with blame—‘Why are you always bugging me?’—then you know you are either a) always bugging him, or b) he is doing something he doesn’t want to tell you about and he is using some kind of lame reverse psychology to try and distract you."


SOURCE; Women's Health Magazine

WAYS TO OVERCOME NEGATIVE THINKING

1. Become Conscious of the Things that go Through Your Mind

Don’t become alarmed over the number of negative thoughts that are running through your head. If it happens and you notice it, then let it go and avoid talking about it aloud to colleagues, friends and managers. As well, think of the ways in which you can change your negative thoughts into something positive. For example, you can change “I am not getting any sales today” thought into “The sales environment is challenging but I am up for it.” Give it a try!

 

2. Change the Way you Feel

This is the most difficult part of the process. To unfreeze the feelings you want replaced and refreeze the new ones, begin by visualizing the outcome(s) you desire. The outcome must be real and measurable and something that you can achieve in a decent period of time.

 

3. Take Affirmative Action

If no action is taken, change will never take place. Actively go about your day and apply what you have learned every time there is an opportunity. It will be difficult to do so at beginning, but if you have the perseverance and the strength, you will be able to over come your negative thinking.

 

4. Surround Yourself with Positive People

Call upon a friend or colleague who you know could give you constructive, yet positive feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thoughts. Two negatives, don’t always make a positive.

 

5. Read Positive Quotes

Every Monday, in honour of #MondayMotivation and #MotivationalMondays, I add a post-it note with a positive quote to my board. This board serves as a reminder to me and my colleagues to stay positive, especially during the most pressing times.
Becoming successful in sales is never easy, but everyone has to start somewhere. The first step to sales success is to embrace productivity and realize that the change is for the good. The second and most crucial step to sales success is to invest in the right software that will help you stay motivated  and become an A+ player. Download a free trial of  InfoFlo CRM Tool here.

About The Author Aleksandr Noudelman

Aleksandr Noudelman is an educator, coach and Digital Marketing Manager. Aleksandr enjoys and strives to motivate others to better themselves professionally and on a personal level. Feel free to contact him if you have any questions or would like a specific topic covered.

Things You Need To Know Before You Start A New Relationship

Relationships are a tricky business. If the goals, motivations, and expectations of both people involved don’t mesh well together, the whole affair is doomed to go down in flames. As easy as it is to shrug it off and blame it on the other person, there are certain things everyone needs to accomplish in their own life before they can be a good partner. If you want your next relationship to be better than your last one, tick off the eight items on this list before checking out another dating website.

1. Become Who You Want to Be

Step one is to ask yourself if you are the person you wanted to be growing up. What attitudes do you admire in other people? What are your personal weaknesses? Make a list if you have to, of all the personality traits you would like to have and get to work cultivating them. Practice makes perfect.

2. Create an Amazing Life

If you aren’t excited about the life you are living why would anyone else want to be a part of it? Do things that make you happy and get you excited for each new day. Find things to look forward to and share them with the people around you. If your life looks like enough fun, odds are you won’t need to go looking for love. It will beat a path to your door.

3. Find Your Passion

Part of creating an amazing life is finding at least one thing you can be really passionate about. Maybe you love exploring the outdoors. Maybe it is art that really gets you excited. Whatever it is, identify it and make it as big a part of your life as you can.

4. Leave the Past in the Past

Everyone has had things happen to them that they would rather forget, but not everyone has baggage. Memories only become baggage if you dwell on them and refuse to move on. Learn to let go of the people who are no longer in your life and forget the ones who let you down. Move on and set your sights on the horizon.

5. Get Organized

When you feel like you are in control of your life you will be more confident and more attractive. Organize everything. Clean your house. Clean your car. Trim down your Facebook friends list. No one wants to be in a relationship with a panicky scatterbrained and odds are if you are one you have a hard time relaxing. Get it together, man.

6. Take Care of Yourself

Do everything in your power to maximize your personal energy. Fill your life with things that make you happy and enthusiastic. Maybe running makes you feel great. Maybe it’s lifting weights. Maybe it's going for a walk before work. Just do something to make yourself feel healthy and happy.

7. Learn to Accept Other People

One of the toughest things you learn in life is that other people don’t exist to satisfy your expectations of them. Accept other people for who they are and learn to embrace their flaws. A good relationship is one where both people can feel comfortable and at home. Judging people is a great way to get them headed for the door.

8. Love Life

Dwight Eisenhower once said “Pessimism never won a war” and the same applies to life. With all the negativity that already exists in the world (ex. missile strikes, bombings, celebrity gossip columns, etc.) no one in your life needs to hear about the things you think suck. Focus on the positive. Find things about the world you love. Only when you are happy about the life you have can you successfully try to expand it.

Credit : lifehack.org

MANESSEH'S 7 WRITING TIPS FOR WRITERS

"Criticism to the writer is like greetings to the man who farms by the way side. If you pay too much attention to what people say about your work, you will lose your talent." - Manesseh Azure Awuni

Manesseh Azure Awuni is the senior broadcast journalist at Joy 99.7FM, an Accra based English speaking radio station. He also won the 2012 Ghana Journalist of the year award, after sweeping three other awards that same night. Manesseh is a prolific writer, who reads for pleasure, and does writing as his hobby. Here are his seven tips for writers and aspiring ones alike (in his exact words and tone).

Read a lot

Abraham Lincoln once said if he was given eight hours to chop a tree, he would spend six hours sharpening his axe. I say if you want to be a good writer, dedicate 80% of your effort to reading and 20% to writing.

Keep it simple

The office cleaner is your reader. The University professor is also your reader. The only way to satisfy both of them is to keep your writing simple.

Right use of adjectives

Use adjectives advisedly. Like too much salt, they mar the beauty and credibility of your writing, especially non-fiction.

Use simple words

Don't try to impress your readers with knowledge of "big" words. The use of unfamiliar or fanciful words is not the hallmark of good writer. A good writer is one who uses simple or ordinary words but weaves them in a way that tickles the reader.

Be positive towards criticism

Criticism to the writer is like greetings to the man who farms by the wayside. If you pay too much attention to what people say about your work, you will lose your talent.

Be yourself when writing

Learning to write like someone else is like imitating the left-handed. It is good to have favorite writers and study their styles, but when you settle down to write, be yourself. With time, a reader should be able to identify your work even if it doesn't bear your name. You only achieve this by being yourself.

Practise writing

I don't think writing is a special gift from God. It is one of those general gifts that anyone can enhance through learning. I am yet to see a good writer who does not read or an illiterate writer. Creativity, which enhances writing, can be a special gift from God, but not writing itself. God has not given you that special gift to write. The more you read and practise writing, the better you become. You have no excuse not to write.

Personally, these tips give me a ride back to the classroom. They are all professional and helpful. Every writer must cling on to it, especially my beginner friends. Have your say. Drop your questions and comments below.

9 Tips on how Best to Deliver your Speech

By Alicia Prince

Study your Topic

The better you know the subject you’re
talking about, the less likely you’ll be to
stumble when the big day comes. If
possible, pick a topic you know a lot about
or are interested in, so you start off
confident in your knowledge. If you can’t
pick your topic, don’t despair. Research the
topic you’re going to speak on, especially
points you’re not too familiar with.
Thoroughly knowing your material will help
you speak with authority. It will also help
boost your confidence before, and while you
speak.

Practise.

Now that you know your subject inside and
out, practice your speech as often as
possible. Practice in front of the mirror or
with a few friends, whichever you’re
comfortable with. Practice will help you
gauge how long your speech is, and where
changes may need to be made. Plus,
practicing out loud a few times will help you
feel familiar with your speech the day of the
event. Growing comfortable with your
speech is essential if you’d like to eliminate
“um”s, “like”s and other distracting pauses.

Know your audience

When in the practice stage, it’s a good idea
to consider who your audience is. Are you
speaking to young kids with short attention
spans, or an older crowd that appreciates
direct, solemn communication? If you’ve
taken time to craft your speech specifically
to your audience , you’ll feel less out of
place when you go to address the crowd.

Make friends

Try and mingle with the audience before the
event starts. By shaking hands and chatting
with the audience first, you’ll feel a bit more
at home when you need to stand at the
front. If, like most of us, you get nervous
when speaking in public, a warm, familiar
smile from audience members can make all
the difference. Especially if you’re speaking
to strangers, you’ll have some familiar faces to focus on while your talking.

Get comfortable

Another way to lessen pre-speech jitters is to arrive early. Familiarize yourself with the space, and make sure you test any AV or visual aid equipment. Not only will you be
less likely to run into technical difficulties mid-speech, you’ll also get another chance to practice your material once or twice.

Be welcoming

Start your speech with a warm welcome to
the audience, and possibly a quick joke or
story . By starting out with a few colloquial
items, you’ll have a minute to adjust to your position and calm your nerves a bit. Additionally, we all seem most relaxed when
discussing something in a conversational matter, allowing you an opportunity to take
control of your speech. Plus, by grabbing the audiences attention first, you can help the audience warm up to you.

Visualize

Though it may seem silly, visualization is a
technique used by successful people around
the world – from business moguls to athletes. Visualize yourself giving the best, most rousing version of your speech to help
you feel confident during your address. Not only does this help nerves, it’s another way to practice and reinforce your material in your head.

Relax

Relaxation techniques are a must before going on, even if you’re a seasoned public speaker. No one likes watching someone who seems uncomfortable, even if what they’re saying is useful. Deep breathing techniques, a cup of tea, or a short walk can
all go along way towards making you look like a natural.

Exude confidence

Finally, even if your stomach is in knots and your knees are shaking, try to project confidence during your speech. Use appropriate eye contact, project your voice,
and gesture normally to appear relaxed.
Even if you feel out of place, approaching your topic with confidence will maximize the
audiences desire to pay attention. If there's a glitch with the equipment or you misspeak, laugh it off and keep going. The
audience will be less likely to focus on imperfections if you ignore them too.

Source: lifehack.org

MAKE THE HOME A HAVEN FOR CHILDREN

As the saying goes, "Charity begins at home", so does the child from a good home have the likelihood of greater opportunities in life. The home or family is the first point of socialization of the child. The better he or she is treated at home, the happier and easier life is for the child.

It is quite worrying the kinds of homes children grow up in these days. We see a lot of chaos in our society today due to the places we have allowed children grow up. One key factor is that these places are mostly not conducive enough to raise children.

Most children do not wake up to see their biological parents these days. These parents have employed house helps who play the parental roles in the lives of children. Meanwhile, parents spend all the time at work to the neglect of the well being of their children. In the end, they pick up negative behaviors such as stealing, disobedience, fornication, telling lies just to mention but a few. This is due to the fact that these house helps are not able to handle them appropriately.

I witnessed an instance when a younger cousin of mine took to sneaking out at night to meet her boyfriend. This happened for a long time until she was caught one day. Apparently, the house help who was supposed to keep an eye on her always allowed the boy in question to visit her at home regularly (in the absence of her parents). And since the house help closed the doors at night, she allowed my cousin to sneak out most times and opened the doors for her when she returned.If any parent will need the services of an house help, they should equally be around most of the times to supervise what happens in the home.

Again, broken homes and single parenting has become the order of the day. What happened to couples staying in the marriage above all odds for the love of their children(an object of their love)? I must say firmly at this point that I am strongly against divorce under any circumstance (especially when there are kids involved). The alarming rate of divorce is quite pathetic because it no longer provides the children the needed environment to grow positively.

Alot of children raised by single parents are mostly unhappy and depressed. The frustrations and hurts of the partner who caters for the child, are directly and indirectly channelled to the innocent child. These children sometimes suffer severe beatings, child labour, rape, insecurity and no sense of belonging.

7 out of 10 children who grow in such homes become wayward and independent at a tender age. This is because that one parent can never play two roles in the child's life. They give up too soon when the weight becomes heavier on them. At this point, the child becomes the master of their own lives. Parents who see signs of inconvenience in bringing up their children in such homes can ask other competent relatives to cater for the child until they are back up on their feet.

Another area of concern is a disorganised home. Here, I mean a home where the members are not morally or socially upright. Some homes house all manner of people such as drug addicts, prostitutes, fraudsters, and the likes. This is mostly typical of slums and compound houses. However, a parent should be able to scrutinize a place before going to live there with their children.

If the environment poses a threat for the child, it must be changed. Otherwise, the child may as well be moved out of such a place to avoid corrupting his or her behavior. Remember, children pick up traits in their immediate environment as they grow up. Therefore, the kind of place they grow up in can play very significant role in their lives.

The appropriate home for a child is one that encourages him or her to become the best of who they can be. Any person who plays the parental role of the child must try as much as possible to make them happy. A happy child is mostly a healthy, smart and productive child.

I will be very glad if the institutions in charge of child cases will take up the challenge of ensuring the happiness of children growing up. DOVVSU, Social welfare and development, the various orphanages, teachers, and the immediate family must rise up to the course of promoting safe and  sound environment for children.

Do not forget also that for a child, good parents or guardians, healthy meal, comfortable clothes, playing and play materials, quality education, and a happy home(no matter where), are prerequisite for a happy living.

Signed : @switsixta_stica

IF YOU RELENT, YOU HAVE NOT RE-LEARNT.

A story is told of a butterfly which lived in the most beautiful of gardens in that time. When it was born, it never had wings, and never could fly. Day in and out, its friends flew past it showing the most empathy they could. Some rather whispered mocking words at it.

Each day, this insect was stuck on the tree perching on the leaves and seeing all the attractiveness around it. It mostly cried about its inability to fly around to enjoy the beautiful things around it.

One day, as it awoke from bed, it knew that was the time. Butterfly felt something stuck around its body. This new feeling made it difficult for it to move around. Whatever it was was so stuck to it that it rather wished it had not grown after all. And yet day by day, it waited patiently to see how this new development would turn out.

A few months past, everyone was amazed at the new butterfly. It had grown beautiful wings and was ready to grace many occasions which took place in the garden. Soon, it was elected as king of the garden because of it's beauty, intelligence and confidence, besides other wonderful qualities it possessed.

Just like the butterfly story, many are subjected to numerous setbacks and frustrations in life. I am one of them. We all, at one point in life, feel caged by circumstances beyond our control. We are stuck to believing that we are of no use or importance to humanity.

We sometimes feel intimidated by the mere success of our fellow persons. What we mostly forget is that no one person ended up the way they are today. Everyone has their own story to tell. The earlier we appreciated who we are, the better person we will become.

A wise man once said that before you go knocking on the door of responsibility, peep through the windows. This is to say that you may not be ready for the mantle you so much yearn to carry. In all the stages life, there is a lesson to pick up. Today may or may not be good. But there is hope in tomorrow.

Some people do not wait till their wings are fully strong for them to fly at ease. Some rush into numerous lifestyles that they later on regret. Some who regret never come out and choose the alternative of ending it all. The wise ones are those who allow time to heal them. The wise ones learn to build strong morals and skills for their personal development.

Whenever there is situation beyond your control, I always recommend that you take a deep breath, drink some water and think of the good times in your life. The walk to success is mostly long and stressful. But the rewards thereof is worth fighting for.

You can not live in someone else's dream, you must find and tap your potential where you are, with whatever tools you have. Never give up. The Law of Process says, Whatever great things we want to achieve in our lives is built daily, and not in a day. Learn to grow by the passing of each day.

Signed :@switsixta_stica

TIPS ON HOW YOU CAN LOVE RIGHT

All too soon you have a crush on someone. Then you realise that you two are meant to be together. When the both of you are together,  you can feel the mechanism and attraction. Cool, is it not? All too soon you must decide to keep this person. This can be very tough in your brain. A few tips below:

Fall in love
There's no mincing words. If you love the person, fall in love. Be there for them. Spend time with them. Trade quality time and resources for them. Yes, real love never thinks twice. If it's bound to be, it will be. Just allow yourself to be in tune with the moment. Dance to the music, it may never fade if you keep enjoying the rhythm.

Shake off mistrust
Many relationships do not thrive because of mistrust. One partner becomes so nosy. There is always something bothering him/her. He or she keeps wondering if they are in the right commitment. True, we must be careful sometimes. However, as time goes on your partner senses the insecurity in your eyes and this paves way for cheating. Feel confident that you own your partner. Only raise alarm when there is enough proof. Do not base your doubts on mere speculations. Be true to yourself first.

Talk to each other
Communication is the bridge that seals the connection between the two of you. Chat about everything. Build confidence in each other by talking most of the time. Apart from close friends and relatives, your partner should be the one you can confide in. Talk about the good, bad, secrets, jokes, experiences and practically everything interesting. A good relationship thrives much on this factor. Love is a means of applying verbal and non verbal communication. When you learn to talk to each other, you are able to break the occurrence of secrecy and dishonesty in the relationship.

Study your partner
What are their likes and dislikes? What turns them on? What irritates them? Their favorite food, game, places. Every human being has their own characteristics which complete them. Find out these things and use them for the benefit of the relationship. Use their likes to impress them, and their dislikes should help you not offend them. Spice up your love for them with the things they love. For instance if he likes football, spend time together watching it with him. Studying your partner aims at helping you pass out as their best and overall choice.

Do not worry if these tips do not work out. Some people are just meant to let go of. Seek out for the best because that is what you deserve. Learn to easily let go and pave way for something original. A person who knows his or her worth tends to be happy most of the time. Love fully, and the same measure or even greater will come back to you. Forget the losers and heart breakers. Love is real when real recognises real. Keep loving.

SETTING THE PRIORITIES RIGHT- A Step Towards Nation Building

It is important to note that in every nation, there are targets or goals that drive it's leaders and citizens towards development. This is one factor that even individuals dwell on for personal development. A nation like Ghana is a thriving developing country in the West African diaspora. In the past few years, she has struggled in battling it's economy to attain the right grounds for national growth.

Tourist sites
Let's face it, our tourist sites can set the pace in boosting our sinking economy. How? In my opinion, government should post young graduates at some of the important tourist sites as part of their national service. Aburi gardens, Boti falls, Elmina Castle, Paga crocodile pond, and the likes are potential income generators. Government should focus all its human and capital resources on developing these places. In turn, revenue collected in these areas can turn our nation around. It is of no wonder that the white man sees a lot of gold on our land, contrary to what the black man sees. I also believe that there is a huge foreign exchange which can also improve the standard of living of the people. Monies derived here can go into development of roads, schools, hospitals and other major facilities in the areas where they are located.

Agriculture
A quick question. What do students go to read agricultural related courses in school for? I suppose your mind is filled with a lot of questions by now. Well, so is mine. These students can for instance be given a vast land where every agricultural student can go and practise on before and after school (precisely national service). Come to think of it, are farmers in Ghana given the needed support and attention at all? It is normal to hear about government tackling one project or the other. When it comes to agriculture and farming, I must say the nation is gradually failing. The extent to which we import foreign foods into the country is rather worrying. Our own local products are been traded for other "insignificant" goods. These goods are relatively the cause of the many diseases like obesity, diabetes, food poisoning, in our country. What happened to consuming our own local fish, rice, pawpaw, yam, pepper and what have you? Government should channel more resources into training and equipping farmers with skills, tools, machines and agricultural materials, which will contribute to the growth of quality farm produce. Road networks in farming areas can also be properly constructed to serve as proper channels for the sale and distribution of farm products into other regions. This will be a great step towards boosting foreign exchange and income in the country. It will also reduce excessive import, create job avenues, and provide healthy food for the people.

Empowering labour force
Another great step towards making a U-turn in the current economic state is by mentorship, training, and sponsorship of great minds and inventions of the people. The human capital of every country adds up to the other factors of production to make a headstart in any form of production. Yearly, students and other stakeholders initiate innovative projects, which if properly supervised and sponsored could have made a wave for the nation. It is easy for the "big men" to sponsor pageantry rather than life changing projects and inventions. One person making the lead in technological innovation is Dr. Kwadwo Safo Katanka. This man, I must say, has started something great and we must embrace it with all our might before it slips off our hands. How refreshing is it to know that Ghanaians drive in their own car model without having to import from somewhere? A lot of Ghanaian dreams are dying because of lack of support from the right sources. This I must say should be properly looked at. The skilled people should be given the needed platforms to unearth what is in them. This will go a long way to generate likewise great minds from all walks to patronize their skills and expertise. Enough of employing unprofessionals into tackling serious businesses. The right people when given the right training and empowerment can help save the nation by attracting the needed investors.

To all the impact players in all the various industries in Ghana, I say keep on. We need a corruption free nation. We need dedicated nation shakers and movers. We need a healthy and developing Ghana.

Signed : @switsixta_stica

FORBIDDEN FRUIT- The Truth Behind Our Identity

 So I walk towards the gate of the school
 campus and see the security man smiling as I
 approached him. Unlike most of my friends, I
 am endeared to all the minor staff (cleaners,
 security men, and drivers). I always believe they
 are somewhat the real role players who deserve
 the best treatment in life for their hard work.
 Though I never bothered to ask his name, I
 always stopped to ask how he and his family
 were faring. If I had something for him, I
 willingly gave out. That day, I brought him
 apples. He received the gift with gratitude and I
 hurried off to class.
 
After school, I came pass the gate and this man
 stopped me to have a word with me. At first I
 thought he was trying to woo me. But I offered
 him a little of my time.
 The gate keeper pulled out something from his
 pocket and asked me to have a look. Lo and
 Behold, I had in my hands pictures of a fine
 gentleman. Obviously the pictures were taken
 overseas. "Whose image are in these photos", I
 asked anxiously.
 That was the unkempt old security man in his
 prime age having his fun times in Paris to be
 precise. I could not believe it. He looked well
 built and very (and I mean very) handsome at
 the time. He further told me he was poisoned
 through an apple and almost died.
 I felt bad for him, because the effects of the
 poison had him brought back home to Ghana.
 He even lost his strength and voice in the
 process but got better after a period of years.
 He returned my apples after explaining these to
 me, I understood.
 He taught me that the events of our life can
 change. As humans we should always try not to
 underestimate anyone because we feel we are in
 a much better place than them. Never look
 down on anyone. I never stopped giving him
 gifts though, but this time not apples.